Hard words to hear

The past couple of days have been great, but with the great came some tough times. It's like she knows she's branching out and gets scared. I've been compling a post in my head about how we started out and all of the things we have encountered and conquered. What I've been hearing lately is, "I don't need a mommy!" I've asked for advice on the attach group because I have never seen this addressed and I want to make sure I'm handling it correctly. I tell her I need her and tell her it's okay to feel what she is feeling. Today after refusing to do her NR, she came to me for comfort right after saying she didn't need a mommy. I asked her if she needed a mommy and she said no. So I moved her away from me and said then you need to be over here and not with me if you don't need a mommy. She came back quickly and said "I do need a mommy!" I hugged her tightly and said I needed her to. Tonight, she wanted to sleep in my bed. I told her I would stay with her until she went to sleep and that wasn't good enough. She said she was scared. I remember this coming up a long time ago when we did fetals. I made her go in her bad and lay next to her with some books to read. She told me to leave and she didn't want me to read. I have seen this before and this is her-"If you aren't going to meet my needs, then I will continue to be independent and not need you" Oh how this kills me to know she is so conflicted. If she doesn't get things done her way, she will state in a loud frustrated voice that she wants exactly what she really doesn't. If I didn't know anything about attachment, I would think she were just stubborn. We are going for our second BIT on Thursday and Friday. I am hoping he can help her past this.