What is going on????

I feel like we are back to where we were a year ago with some old behaviors surfacing. I am trying to figure out what is going on so I know what to do about it. Today, someone complimented my hair. As we walked away, S said, "My hair doesn't look good." I asked her what made her think that, no one said anything about her hair. Before that, the cat knocked a plant over. As I was going over to clean it up, she asked, "Did I do that?" I wish I knew what she was thinking and why. It's so hard when I have always kept things positive, I've followed all the rules for theraputic parenting. If I am doing everything I'm supposed to, how does this happen in the first place? I can't erase her past, as much as I would like to. How do I prevent the past from overshadowing her future? Yesterday, she had a clear memory of her life in China. She didn't want to talk about it when I asked her about it. I just hope I don't look back and wish I had seen something I should have done very differently. I am so analytical about everything, so careful to not make many mistakes. I see others who fly by the seat of their pants and everything turns out just fine.

I plan on a conference with the teachers next Monday. I am going to have to use some very strong wording to get my point across. I think they haven't told me about what is going on at school because they think the parents are the problem. I have been too nice so far, they haven't taken me seriously. The small school is great for her, but it has it's limits. I can't go beyond the principal, she owns the place.