Tough Day

The good thing about doing NR now without the fetals is that I can see that just our time alone together can stir things up. I still can't be sure what triggered today's episode. She got right to work and asked for a break. I always give breaks because it works for us. She didn't want to go back to work for anything. We went to take a bath to break it up. She was saying some terrible things after bath time. She actually started to cry. I tried to get it out of her what was bothering her. After not getting anywhere, I went into answering everything by telling her I would love her forever no matter what. I told her there was nothing she could ever do to make me not love her. Thank God, this finally made her come out of it. She was very tired, so I decided she needed to go right to bed. We had story time as usual, and she told me that school was stressing her. I know they are trying to,make her more independent, and I think she feels too overwhelmed. Maybe she feels like they don't care about her any more. I emailed the teacher and haven't heard back from her yet. I asked for a conference, which has always been very difficult to schedule. We looked at a new school for next year today, but it was definitely not a choice. I think her admitting she was stressed by the work today confirms for me that she should repeat kindergarten next year. How wonderful would it be for her to feel confident. They are making her feel inadequate because her handwriting is poor. She said they said mommy would be sad that she didn't try her best. They make blanket statements and she takes them all personally. That has always bugged me when parents used to tell all the kids to stop doing something when it was their kid who was the one misbehaving. The kids who need to hear the correction never think they are the one the general statement is being directed toward. She has come home saying that I won't be proud of her work. I tell her I'm always proud of her no matter what, especially when I know she tried her hardest. I am just looking forward to the end of the school year. She said she likes school, so it isn't as bad as it seems. I know there will never be any school that is perfect. It' s just hard to see her hurting. This is giving us the opportunity to talk through things and hopefully work them out before she is too old. We signed her up for soccer, so I think that is going to be really good for her. Tomorrow will be a better day.