Help!

Hi Bette,.

I really need your help. Today was the worst day we've had since coming home. S never throws tantrums, rarely cries, and is a happy child. Her frustration and behavior have been escalating, and today it all let loose. She is like someone who is trying to get out of her body. She tells me she is frustrated. She hit herself in the head, pulled out her hair bow and hair tie, pulled her hair, and cried and screamed. She wouldn't listen for anything all day. I tried every tactic I know and nothing worked. I let her scream and cry to help release her frustration. Since I found a way to do the fetals, we did a few yesterday, but only a few since you said we should probably not do them if she resists. When she was at her worst today, I had flashbacks and realized this happened before. As I remember, it was in response to fetals. So I will stop until I hear from you. There have been some significant notations the past couple of days, and I sent you a couple of emails regarding this a day or two ago. They will give you the whole picture. We can't go on this way, I can't see her this troubled. If she has to go through this at some point, then she will have to do it at a slower pace because it is destroying both of us. I am as frustrated as her.


I will add some thoughts to this. What a horrible few days it's been. Today I vaguely recalled this happening before when we did fetals. It was so long ago, and as always, I am quick to forget things once we've gotten past them. Since these behaviors were so short lived, I wanted to forget them as soon as possible. Today at Chinese class, we were combined with S and her sisters class. There were parents there who had an adopted daughter. They couldn't help but stare in disbelief at her behavior. Screaming, throwing, not cooperating, a real nightmare. They weren't giving me any horrible looks, but it was hard to see her stared at like that. Today at church, the quiet room was crowded. There is a boy who has what I think is autism. He doesn't speak, and his behavior is not the best. His mother is a saint, she is the kind of mother I wish I were. She is so good with him, so patient and loving. It takes a lot of guts to brave the ignorant people who stare and don't understand. the problem is that S appears to be quite average by most accounts, so when her behavior declines, it looks like she is a brat and I'm just a bad mother. It's so unfair to her to be judged like that. No, I don't like it either, but I'm the adult, I'm suppoesed to be able to handle it. I guess I have failed on that one.