FRUSTRATED

I probably should wait to calm down before writing but it has been a stressful week. We are having quite a bit of resistance to the program and I have had enough pleading, coercing, punishing and whatever else to get things done. Yesterday my older daughter helped and it was a breeze. Mom just can't get exciting enough to make it fun. S has been using the excuse she is scared to do her 'exercises.' One day, while we were doing the patterns that were assigned pre-reeval, we clapped at the end when she finished because she was so cooperative. Clapping has just recently started bothering her again. We kept promising her we wouldn't clap at the end and could finally convince her to do them. So I have been thinking the scared response is a delay tactic. She has started using, "I'm hungry", and several others. I tell her she needs to get her work done and then I will give her what she wants. So today I was doing the fetals, which she is very resisitant to, and she stopped after several and said she didn't want to do them. I asked why and she said she was scared. I asked why she was scared and said she didn't want to do them. I asked her why she didn't want to do them and she said they made her sad. That was a first! She rarely talks about any emotion, so I was really surprised to hear her say sad. Then she said she was sad because she couldn't do them. When we were doing these, I was moving her arms and she did her legs. When I put her hands near her ears, she pushed my hands tightly against her head and wanted me to squeeze her head. She used to want me to squeeze her head a long time ago because she needed the sensory input. Then I got to thinking that these were fetals. I don't know where they come in the order of pre-birthing, but it made me wonder if they happen right before birth and her wanted me to squeeze was what she felt during childbirth. This might be a stretch, but it is quite the coincidence. Since she was probably a preemie, maybe these patterns happened right before she was born. I'm going to ask when these actually occur in-utero. Still, an interesting observation. We were told we could back off of these or discontinue, but I give them a try each day to see how many I can get in. Since it's all becoming a struggle anyway, might as well do as much as we can.

Our OT is going to try the theraputic listening program with S. I can't wait to start as I think it is the missing piece of the puzzle. We just got some terrible news about the VPK program. They are saying S is ineligible because she will be too old. I thought schools wanted kids to start later now? Everyone, I mean everyone, is questioning why I want to start her late. I am stressed at the fighting I need to do. Now I need to deal with more people who just don't get it and want to blame everything on me. I'm so worn out.