A Heartbreaking Discovery

Okay, I'm wondering if I should be taking the time out to write this, but I want to be able to remember how this important day. It has been a particularly frustrating day for both of us. Her teacher said it was an okay day. S told me that a teacher pushed her into the time out chair. This was her version, and I think the teacher probably had to physically re-direct her to the chair. She told me she spilled water, which seems to happen often. Whenever she does something like that, she is frustrated. You would think they could recognize that and see it coming since it doesn't seem to be the rare event. Of course I never hear it from the teacher, she says everything is great. I don't know if she thinks she can handle it or maybe she doesn't know what to do about it. I don't know if I should leave her there or not. If I take her out, I think that will leave her feeling like it is all her fault. If I leave her in, she could have even more difficulties because they keep thinking this behavior is all under her control.

So we were doing our crawling, which she hates and has been putting up a fuss over. We moved to a different location and she started ripping the crawling mat where there was already a rip started. She said she was frustrated. She asked me to spank her. I told her that I don't spank her. I asked her if she wanted to be spanked and she said no. Did she feel like she deserved it? We finished up after a few more laps. While I was feeding her chicolate pudding reward, I asked her a question. I said, Does mommy love you when you are frustrated? She shook her head no. I was shocked! I proceeded to tell her that I loved her when she was happy, sad, mad, frustrated, and I would love her forever no matter what. I was devastated and know we need to talk even more. Crawling is bringing up emotions, no wonder she doesn't want to do it. Why can't I just take all of her pain and spare her the hurt?