New Program

Our new program is really part of our old program. We are doing creeping, cross homolaterals and tonic neck pattern. The cross homolaterals have always caused problems. S gets really upset before we do them. She was saying very negative things which I can't even write down. I played it out with her, trying to stay positive. In the past, I just repeat over and over that I love her no matter how she feels and that I will love her no matter what. If I engage her in conversation to try to talk it out, she talk in circles around me. We get nowhere. We finally resolved it, but it took a long time. Every opportunity she has to make me mad at her, she tries. If she is disobedient she says, "I'm bad, you're mad at me." I tell her that I knew she wanted me to get mad at her and that it just wasn't going to happen. She wants me to affirm what she believes about herself and I flatly refuse to do it. It does stop her, but sometimes she will try wording things a little differently to get me going again or to get me to slip up. Sometimes I tell her she is making my head spin and she has to stop. This usually results in comic relief. I never had any idea how sharp I would have to stay to keep myself above the situation. I have nearly mastered the art of holding my tongue. That can only be a good thing overall in every area of my life. I know this phase of her life isn't going to be short lived. Our attachment therapist has been unreachable. I have heard through the grapevine why, but no direct communication from her. Apparently she had not communicated with any of her clients. I have been on my own for most of this, so I should be used to it. We will plug away with our NR, so hopefully I can say we have this huge part behind us in May. I am thinking my family should do a week-long attachment intensive this summer. Will that make things a lot better? I have heard that huge strides are made when families do these intensives. I will have to ask Bette what she thinks of these emotions coming up at the start of our daily exercise routine. I think it's just that she knows that it is just her and I and that she has to go through with it. I think it may be 100% attachment related. It's so hard to know, maybe no one can ever tell us for sure.