Monday, September 5, 2011

Shocked

Today, while I was in the laundry room, I heard S start to raise her voice in her frustrated tone and I came out to see what had happened and who set her off. I am so grateful that I was able to remember what was said a few minutes earlier that neded up to be the trigger. My husband said she just started saying she didn't want her new Squinky toys, her new room, and she didn't like mommy, daddy or herself. What started all of this was because I asked her if she wanted to get rid of a toy. I explained that we get rid of toys she doesn't play with to make room for any new ones she got. She has gotten upset in the past when I asked her if she could give a few of her old toys or books to her baby cousin. So apparently this is what set her off and the poor thing would rather give up everything she loves now to aviod the pain in the future. I started watching videos of when she was younger and she did NOT want to watch them. Then I saw some of the baby toys that I am certain she would remember and ask where they were. So I am going to be sure to not show her any of those videos until I know she can handle it.

I saw a mother on a TV show last night and she had an autistic son. He had a photographic memory and he was able to give her directions to someone's house he had been to one time when he was 2 years old. I have a feeling her memory is very much like that from the things she has told me.

I was just thinking of our upcoming re-evaluation and my number one concern for the past several times has been impulse control. I just realized that it is not the top concern anymore. Although if you were to ask me if there have been any huge day to day changes, I would say no. They have been creeping up so slowly but having a cumulative effect. The changes since May have been profound. I am so excited about this. I tested her for another reflex this morning and she is better! I'm not even sure what it is called, but if you sit them on the floor and slowly tip their body to the side, they are supposed to keep their head straight while the body tips. She always kept her head directly in line with her body and now she keeps it straight!!! Wahoo!!! Even though I don't see huge leaps from day to day, they are happening inside her body. It seems like over the summer, things have been coming together at an accelerated rate. I hope I can report that the end is in sight after this next eval. When I read about the families who were on the 4-6 year plan, I want to scream. I even discussed with Bette "getting good enough." I hate to stop before we are fully healed, and I'm not planning on it, but if we are going another 4 years, I'm not sure if we can make it. We'll see when we get there, I need to focus on today. We took two days off in a row, but when we got back today, she acted like we never stopped. This was another first, maybe it means more progress.

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