Remember the Good

Today I was realizing that with each new day I just get used to the new normal around my house. Sometime in the recent past, my daughter has transformed into a child who tells me she loves me several times a day. I get hugs and kisses. This is what every mother comes to expect, but mine has been a long time coming. I have been so happy about it that I forget sometime that we have just arrived at this new place. She has been telling me that she misses me and doesn't want to be away from me. To someone who has never been onthe road to attachment, this concept seems so foreign. I thought that all this should come naturally before I adopted. I just didn't know what it could be like. I can't tell you the risk she is taking telling me she misses me and doesn't want to be away from me. I started to tell her it was okay to miss me and she quickly said, "I want to be away from you!" I took a bigger risk and challenged her. I told her that she just said the opposite and tried to reason with her. She actually listened AND understood. She then said, "I don't want to be away from you." Progress. How hard it must be to be her and not understand. I think she really thinks that each time we are separated that we might never see eachother again. Today, she actually understood about being away and returning and said, "Like when daddy goes to work." YES!!!! the more she gets, hopefully the more comfortable and secure she will feel. So today my big revelation was that thing just might be okay after all one day. We are making so much progress it seems like we should have been there years ago already. It's not through any lack of effort on her part or mine, that's a fact. I never thought such simple living and functioning could be broken down into literally hundreds of thousands of little steps. Someday we'll be free of the yahoo support groups, the doctor and other practitioners/therapists, etc. Someday we'll be free to expand our world and do what we want, not just what we are able to tolerate. Someday she'll squeal with excitement at the thought of Disneyworld. She has shown me that even if that day never comes, there is plenty of life to be enjoyed. Today is a day to realize that we need to be grateful for what we have and don't worry about what we don't. We never know what tomorrow will bring, so we'd better make the most of today.