Catching up

I have so much to update and so little time, so I will condense it. After our BIT session, we went to Disney World both days. The first day was met with tons of anxiety, so we limited the stressors. She was remembering being stressed the last time we went to Disney, so she was full of anxiety. We went on It's a Small World to get her comfortable, it's her favorite ride. She did great on all of the rides she loved. She wanted to go on the rocket ships, but heard the release of the air from the hydrolics that send the rockets up. She was too scared to go on, so we bailed. She would have loved it had she not heard the noise. She loves to be up high and go in circles. We got a Guest Assistance Card, and that is the greatest thing. She doesn't have to wait in a long line and get all worked up over things. It has allowed her to enjoy her time there. The second day, we only went on a few things because it was so HOT and we were tired. We all wanted to go on the new Star Tours ride, and realized S was tall enough to go on it. I thought she might be able to handle it, but wasn't really sure. I explained it as we were waiting in line and she seemed okay. I didn't know what she would do when buckled in the seat alone. I was thrilled that she did absolutely fine! she wasn't scared and didn't say she didn't want to go on again. This was so huge for her!! We're going to try Splash Mountain next time. We can be closer to her and hug her close. I think she will actually love the drop after the initial shock.

On June 9th, we headed to Denver to see several families that we last saw on our adoption trip. The first day we met with one mom and her daughter. They played together for hours and had so much fun. It was great to see them playing so well together after just meeting eachother. The moms had fun talking and watching their children have fun too! The weather was beautiful which made it just perfect. The next day we got together with 3 other families that had children from the same orphanage as S. It was the first time they had been together in nearly 4 years. S hugged them like long lost friends and they all played like they had always known eachother. It was really nice to get together and see everone after so many years.

Our next adventure was Hawaii. It was paradise, period. We had such a relaxing time, it was a much needed break. We took time off from all of our therapies, we really needed that too (at least I did). We were tested on the way home in a way I never want to be tested again. Since we fly standby, we get the last seats on the airplane and have to board at the end. There weren't enough seats for all 6 of us, so S and I were the only ones to go. (I found out after the fact that 2 of my other children got on). Of course, our seats were NOT together. I have always said that I would get off the plane if we had to be apart. As employee passengers, we are no allowed to ask anyone to move. (If you were ever envious of free or cheap employee travel, this story will have you happily paying $$$$$ for your flight). Our seats were several rows apart, so I went ahead and asked someone in the other seat if he wold be willing to move so we could sit together. It was an aisle seat to boot. He looked at me holding my 4 year old daughter and point blank said, "NO!" The male flight attendant told me to take my seat and he would see what he could do later. I knew later meant AFTER the flight had taken off. I told him that I could not let her sit alone. He said to me in a snarky voice, "Okay, it looks like I'll help you NOW." In the meantime, two people came rushing on, overheard my dilemma, looked at eachother, and said, "Nah". Then the flight attendant asked someone else and they said okay, but that only meant that we would be sitting across the aisle from one another!!!! This was a red eye flight where everyone would be sleeping. So I'm next to this very large man who then asks me if I want to sit next to the window because he had to get up every hour because he was prone to blood clots. Really? Be farther away from my child? To top it off, my daughter was seated next to a little boy who appeared to be profoundly autistic. He was making sounds and hitting himslef in the face with a stuffed animal. Of course S started in with her 100 questions and copying his behavior. I almost cried, I was so helpless. I was so worried about her bothering the poor little boy and him keeping her awake or scared. I was astounded that she did not panic at being so far away from me. I held her hand and stated all of my reassuring answers to her in a loud voice to try to ellicit some comassion from any of the passengers around me. Compassion was not to be found anywhere. I can't even imagine such disregard for a child. She would ask me to turn her light on and I would NEXT to a family member. So it took me several hours to calm down while I watched my sleeping child to make sure she didn't wake up in a panic when she couldn't see me. Of course the stupid drink cart stopped right between us. Then the lady who was in the row with my daughter had a family member who didn't get on the flight. She was consulting the flight attendant about it, so the flight attendant stood right between my child and me, for a long time, several times. She was also leaning into her and I was afraid she would wake her up. Getting back to the employee travel, we are treated like DIRT. The flight crew ignores us and treats us badly. In the past when they served food, we ould be skipped over until everyone was served and then we would get whatever was left over. I didn't mind this, because the regular passengers help my husband keep a job, so they should get first pick. The problem is being treated sub-human by the same employees who travel this was as well!! Anyway, other than moving around and almost kicking the boy next to her, the 5 hour flight went well. She slept the entire way. Then we transfered to another 4 hour cross country flight and the SAME thing happened! We were across the aisle from one another. She did fine and slept again, I was so grateful. I was also still disgusted that people around me knew what was happening and wouldn't do anything. Why couldn't the older couple sit across from one another and let us sit together? I'm still upset about the whole thing and don't want to fly again for a while. Out of all of this emerged a brave little girl. She is just starting to show some anxious attachment, so it couldn't have come at a worse time. On a great note, we slept in the same bed in Hawaii. She hugged me tight one night and told me she loved me and then said, "I do need a mommy!"

We went back to our NR today, I dreaded starting. She did great to start, but then we got the usual resisitance. she was tired, but I had to go out today and couldn't have done it earlier. Tomorrow we will do it early and see how it goes. We had her re-evaluated for vision therapy and we might start that soon. He still needs to do some testing. The good news is that her vision seems okay, not perfect, but good. Interestingly enough, the DR. said his observations were that her emotional component seemed to be her biggest obstacle. On the bad side, he said she has so many things going on, her vision wasn't a big factor, just one of many. He was very frank with his opinion, and said she would not fit into a regular school class. I've been given a lot of reasons to cry lately.

On the ear front, we cancelled the surgery for wax removal. I ran into our old pediatrician and she said there would be no way she would risk anesthesia for wax. I needed to hear that. I trust her opinion over anyone, I really loved her as my kids doctor. It's late, time for bed so I can handle the new barrage tomorrow might bring.