Poem From Sensory Planet

The Misunderstood Child [A poem about children with hidden disabilities] by Kathy Winters
.by Sensory Planet on Monday, April 11, 2011 at 10:19pm.


I am the child that looks healthy and fine.

I was born with ten fingers and toes.

But something is different, somewhere in my mind,

And what it is, nobody knows.



I am the child that struggles in school,

Though they say that I'm perfectly smart.

They tell me I'm lazy -- can learn if I try --

But I don't seem to know where to start.



I am the child that won't wear the clothes

Which hurt me or bother my feet.

I dread sudden noises, can't handle most smells,

And tastes -- there are few foods I'll eat.



I am the child that can't catch the ball

And runs with an awkward gait.

I am the one chosen last on the team

And I cringe as I stand there and wait.



I am the child with whom no one will play --

The one that gets bullied and teased.

I try to fit in and I want to be liked,

But nothing I do seems to please.



I am the child that tantrums and freaks

Over things that seem petty and trite.

You'll never know how I panic inside,

When I'm lost in my anger and fright.



I am the child that fidgets and squirms

Though I'm told to sit still and be good.

Do you think that I choose to be out of control?

Don't you know that I would if I could?



I am the child with the broken heart

Though I act like I don't really care.

Perhaps there's a reason God made me this way --

Some message he sent me to share.



For I am the child that needs to be loved

And accepted and valued too.

I am the child that is misunderstood.

I am different - but look just like you.


Oh how this resonated with me, this is my child. Not every aspect of this poem rings true with her life, but most of it does. If only people would try to understand, give you or your child the benefit of the doubt. How narrow minded to not accept something you refuse to educate yourself about. If you can prove something to the contrary, go for it, but if you just refuse to believe it because you choose to stay ignorant, then the problem should be yours, not mine. I had a conference with S's teacher yesterday. Let me tell you, my head was spinning when I came out of there. The teacher thinks there's nothing she doesn't already know and anything I tell her is perceived as a personal attack. She is a nice person, and as far as I know has been very kind to my daughter. But when she talks about her to me, she speaks as though she's talking about some alien being. She seems to cite an example to refute something I've tried to educate her on. PRIDE is evil, it hurts you and it hurts me, and ultimately hurts my child. Don't people realize they would be more admired for aquiring more information and always learning than being the expert? New things are being discovered every day, a myriad of subject matter. If you stay stuck in today, you may be the expert of yesterday, but you are the moron of today. Yes, my bitterness streak is not over. I will protect my child until I take my last breath, that is my job as her mother. I know others take a different approach, throwing their child out there to experience the world and become independent at an early age. No matter how hard we try though, we can't make them learn any faster than they are capable of. I believe in the softer approach, they won't be little forever. I want her to be able to trust me and trust the world she lives in. It's only when they are comfortable that they can learn. S has so much anxiety, she is always on the lookout for something to surprise her. If I didn't give her a safe environment, she could never learn anything but survival. I have to admit that I resent the people who don't put in any effort, don't go the extra mile, and have no problems and smooth sailing. I have spent so many months, maybe years now, trying to find answers and the proper help. I'm still searching, but we're so much farther down the path than I expected to be. I am so happy with how far we've come, and I'm in for the long haul. She's my precious daughter and we will triumph!