Fetal triggers, WOW!

The other day, we did the last 5 fetals in the sequence before birth. As soon as we are finished, she stated, "I want to grow in your tummy." "Can we play baby born?" This is something she made up many months ago. She hides under a blanket and pretends to be in my belly. She has not asked to do this in a long long time, it was just a short phase. We covered her up and uncovered her several times(being born) and then she stayed under the blanket while I rocked back and forth snuggling her. She stayed like this for about 45 minutes. I couldn't believe it, but I indulged her. Then she asked again the next day and I told her we could do it one time because it took a long time. She agreed and then just stayed under there for another 30-45 minutes. The next day, she was in denial mode and saying the opposite of how she really feels as a self-protection mechanism. She said she didn't want to do it anymore because it took too much time. I told her it was okay and we could do it if she wanted. Now I'm sad that I ruined it for her. My older kids are taking care of a kitten and she wants to keep it. We explained that it belongs to someone and they are taking care of it until the owner can take it. She then said, "Should we get rid of our 2 dogs and have no one?" It's so heartbreaking...

May Update

We're back into our NR routine. Unfortunately, we won't be able to go back for a re-eval in May bacause we'll be out of town for a graduation. On a general note, we've made huge leaps in development. Speech is very clear, and we're in complete sentences with proper grammar most of the time. Fine motor skills are hugely improving. There is still quite a contrast when she is with other kids her age. She plays really well with other children, but they realize she is different and it is beyond heartbreaking. She is the sweetest, most friendly, loving, kind child you could ever meet. It makes me wonder how many misunderstood children are never appreciated. I wish I had the time to write a book about my life with her. I am so priviledged to have been chosen to be her mother. She makes me see life in a different light, and I appreciate every day more because of her. I want to protect her from hurt, but at the same time, I want her to interact with the same people who could break her heart. They have so much to learn from her and enjoy. If only I could find people who would actually listen instead of thinking they already knew what you were going to say. If only they were willing to learn instead of being prideful. Maybe someday, she will be able to make people listen, and my job is to get her to that point.

The same day we started back to NR, S played quietly by herself in her room. I didn't think too much about it, since she is maturing, it could just be becasue of that. Then on day 2, the same thing. Surely not a coincidence, never is with NR. Am I looking for it? Actually no, I usually don't put the 2 together until a day or 2 later. We are doing fetals, which we had to stop the first time they were prescribed a year ago. I was afraid of re-starting them, but this must be the right time. Last night, she woke up wimpering. She has always been a sound sleeper, so this was unusual. I brought her to my bed, and she spent an hour thrashing around. She kept kicking her dad in the head, and keeping me awake, so I brought her back to her bed and lied down next to her.(in her toddler bed) She was still restless, and she didn't want me to touch her to comfort her. She is still resistant to touch as comfort. I finally rolled her onto my chest, with intentions of eventually getting up and doing something else with her. Well, much to my surprise, the second she got on my chest, her body immediately relaxed, and she was asleep within minutes. Only then did it occur to me that this all must have been in reaction to the fetals. Of course, I felt guilt at probably handling it improperly up until that point. When you are getting kicked and hit and woken up repeatedly, you generally don't react with compassion. I kept trying to re-align her so she wasn't perpendicular to her dad and I. In a half sleep state, I probably even told her to stay still. Now that I realize what is going on, I'll try to remind myself to react with compassion. As we get farther into out NR routine, she is pulling the same old stuff, playing around and not wanting to do it. How can you do patterns when your child gets stiff just because it's fun? Or how about rolling over and giggling? She's not making this easy on either one of us. Sometimes I think it would be easier when she is older, because I can reason with her. But if I wait, she may just become more unreasonable and defiant. So in the next 3 months I have lofty goals-potty training, swimming, and getting ready for some sort of pre-school. I'll be here all of next month, so hopefully I'll post more often. I have high hopes, lets see how far we get!

Strange coincidences

S hadn't taken a nap 4 days in a row. She slept later than usual, so by the time she was at all ready to nap, it was much too late. In the past, if she naps late, she stays up really late. Once thing I noticed when we first started NR, it would energize her. I couldn't do it in the afternoon or she wouldn't want to go to sleep. So on the no nap days, she would cry when I put her in bed at night and act scared to death to be left there. She would stop crying after less than a minute, but it was disturbing just the same. Today, she got up early enough to take a nap. She started hyperventilating at the mention of a nap. I put her in bed and tried to calm her down before I left. She stopped crying right away after I left. Tonight, when I put her in bed, she cried again. I gave her some books and toys and her sister stayed with her until she calmed down. I was really confused about all of this behavior until nap time today. I realized that it is probably a result of starting up our NR again. Last time, she went through some of this when we first started. I'm glad I realized that it wasn't just random that she started this. We've been working on getting her to respond to questions. She is really responding well and talking. The past few mornings, she will just rattle of a bunch of words as if to tell me a story. I don't understand all of the words, so I don't know if she is actually trying to tell me something that she thinks is important. I love that getting back to our program is stirring things up in her, but I don't love that it seems to be stirring up some emotion that she probably doesn't even understand.