Evil Electronics

Electronics have been temporarily banned in my house, at least for our youngest family member. It seems like a bit of an obsession was developing. I'm not sure if it was an outlet for the stress or it was because of the stress or it was causing some stress. I think it may have been a combination of all three. Sunday was the first time ever that S didn't go to church with me. She had to end her game on the Ipad and she was in a funk. That didn't end with the 3 minute car ride to church. I had to call my husband to come pick her up. She apparently sat by herself for a while when she got home, and then was okay. I told her she could earn it back on Monday for a short, timed amount. She was good all day, but mentioned getting the Ipad back several times. I finally let her finish the game she had to stop on Sunday, figuring that unfinished business was more than she could handle. She did just that and was fine with giving it up. She had it maybe a total of 10 minutes. It would have been shorter, but her big sister bumped her accidently and made her lose the game. I allowed one game. She will be home from school soon, and I'm sure that will be the first thing out of her mouth. I think I will give her a limited amount again and see how it goes. I am getting close to needing to call our attachment therapist. I don't know if consistent theraputic parenting will help her through this with time or I need to change something. I really sense some anger and that is very upsetting for me to see. I know it's probably good that she is allowing it to come out, but is she allowing it to come out or is that who she is becoming? Maybe no one can answer that. I miss the 99.9% happy girl who hadn't a care in the world. Apparently she did, she could never express it or should I say-allow herself to express it. Some say that she is finally feeling safe enough to be able to let it come out. I think I'm afraid I won't be able to do enough to help her through it. I think I am in fear of failure. Up until now, I have searched the world for the proper people to help her and have been successful. As hard as the other stuff was, I never imagined this would be harder. She said something yesterday that worried me. She fell on the playground and got two huge scrapes on her knees. First she said she didn't cry, then she said she was afraid the kids would call her a baby. Then she changed her story and said that is what really happened. I emailed the teacher to ask what actually happened. She had to hear someone, somewhere, call another child a baby. She is really picking up on all of the social aspect. On one hand it is good, on the other, she is seeing and hearing the worst of it. I don't want her to become bitter, defensive and angry because she is exposed to mean kids. Unfortunately, they are everywhere. Keeping her isolated is not the answer, although if it was, I would do it in a heartbeat. This is going to be one, long ride..... I'm still convinced that S will come out of this a bold, confident and motivated young lady. I'm not sure how I'll hold up, but I gladly accept my role and will never stop fighting for her, my other kids, and all children in need.