Re-eval report

We had our re-eval on Thursday. No, we didn't graduate, but we are so close that it is almost certain we will by next time. We got just a short list of activities that will be no problem to work on. It feels so good to be here, I hope I can keep up the momentum to get through the finish line. I had wanted to start ILS with nothing else to do, but looks like we will have to do both. We have so little to do, that it will work out just fine. Yesterday, we went on a class field trip. S wanted to hold the teachers hand and not mine or her dad's. I'm really not sure if this was her rigid thinking or a serious attachment issue. I think I'll go for advice on the attachment group instead of consulting our AT since there really isn't anything else to talk about. It was great to see her interact with her classmates. She preferred her teachers to me though, which I thought was a little strange. Then something really strange happened. She said to her teacher when she grabbed her hand, "Are you my mommy?" The teacher said no and then she asked, "Did you take care of me until my mommy came to get me?" The teacher was distracted with the other kids so I don't think she answered her, at least I didn't hear an answer. I asked her later that day why she asked her teacher that and asked her to explain. I asked her if she thought her teacher took care of her in China and she said yes. I reminded her of who took care of her. She seemed to remember and was okay with that. I am confused that she is confused. Do I go over her story again to refresh her memory? Could she actually be confused? I feel terrible that maybe I should be going over her story again and again. I am afraid to bring up bad memories. I guess we need to get past that. She loves going over her story books, so I shouldn't hesitate. I have just been following her lead on when she wants to read them and look at them.

Bette did a talk in my area, and it connected me to many more people. I want to be able to share this blog with them so they can read our story and be encouraged. But, as usual, I have thrown people under the bus and don't want local people to be reading about them, especially since I have stories about people we have dealt with. There are no names, but I think I will have to modify things before letting people read it. In some ways I regret that, but they are all part of our story. People who don't understand have been the biggest obstacle to our healing and progress.