May Update

We're back into our NR routine. Unfortunately, we won't be able to go back for a re-eval in May bacause we'll be out of town for a graduation. On a general note, we've made huge leaps in development. Speech is very clear, and we're in complete sentences with proper grammar most of the time. Fine motor skills are hugely improving. There is still quite a contrast when she is with other kids her age. She plays really well with other children, but they realize she is different and it is beyond heartbreaking. She is the sweetest, most friendly, loving, kind child you could ever meet. It makes me wonder how many misunderstood children are never appreciated. I wish I had the time to write a book about my life with her. I am so priviledged to have been chosen to be her mother. She makes me see life in a different light, and I appreciate every day more because of her. I want to protect her from hurt, but at the same time, I want her to interact with the same people who could break her heart. They have so much to learn from her and enjoy. If only I could find people who would actually listen instead of thinking they already knew what you were going to say. If only they were willing to learn instead of being prideful. Maybe someday, she will be able to make people listen, and my job is to get her to that point.

The same day we started back to NR, S played quietly by herself in her room. I didn't think too much about it, since she is maturing, it could just be becasue of that. Then on day 2, the same thing. Surely not a coincidence, never is with NR. Am I looking for it? Actually no, I usually don't put the 2 together until a day or 2 later. We are doing fetals, which we had to stop the first time they were prescribed a year ago. I was afraid of re-starting them, but this must be the right time. Last night, she woke up wimpering. She has always been a sound sleeper, so this was unusual. I brought her to my bed, and she spent an hour thrashing around. She kept kicking her dad in the head, and keeping me awake, so I brought her back to her bed and lied down next to her.(in her toddler bed) She was still restless, and she didn't want me to touch her to comfort her. She is still resistant to touch as comfort. I finally rolled her onto my chest, with intentions of eventually getting up and doing something else with her. Well, much to my surprise, the second she got on my chest, her body immediately relaxed, and she was asleep within minutes. Only then did it occur to me that this all must have been in reaction to the fetals. Of course, I felt guilt at probably handling it improperly up until that point. When you are getting kicked and hit and woken up repeatedly, you generally don't react with compassion. I kept trying to re-align her so she wasn't perpendicular to her dad and I. In a half sleep state, I probably even told her to stay still. Now that I realize what is going on, I'll try to remind myself to react with compassion. As we get farther into out NR routine, she is pulling the same old stuff, playing around and not wanting to do it. How can you do patterns when your child gets stiff just because it's fun? Or how about rolling over and giggling? She's not making this easy on either one of us. Sometimes I think it would be easier when she is older, because I can reason with her. But if I wait, she may just become more unreasonable and defiant. So in the next 3 months I have lofty goals-potty training, swimming, and getting ready for some sort of pre-school. I'll be here all of next month, so hopefully I'll post more often. I have high hopes, lets see how far we get!