Advice

Okay, I've talked to Bette about our issues. It all becomes much clearer when you can talk it out with someone who has insight as to what might be going on. She thinks these new behaviors are being caused by anxiety. I agree that is what it looks like. We can do compressions and body holding to help her get de-stressed and re-regulated. Remaining calm will be the hardest part, I tend to act a milli-second before thinking. Big character flaw, but I constantly work on it. I admit I started out calm, but when nothing worked, I resorted to yelling her name loudly hoping it would startle her into action. No such luck with a traumatized child who has tuned out all she cares to avoid. It's hard to speak softly when she has ripped the glasses off of someone's face and threw them. Bette also suggested theanine, which I will take myself to lower cortisol levels. I have many other life factors which are contributing to this situation, blah.....

So I'm going forth with renewed optimism again. If I can continually view her issues as being scared and stressed, it will be easy to treat her with the softness and compassion she deserves to get through it. I look at it like my phobia, there isn't anyone who can talk sense into me that the stupid little insect cannot hurt me. I'm afraid of it even when it's dead. I don't need someone to tell me not to be afraid, it just doesn't work. I need someone to tell me they understand and get me as far away as they possibly can before the ugly thing springs back to life! How horrible to think she might be having fears like that. I guess that's why she's my kid. I can hug her and carry her away to another couch when she's " 'fraid couch" even though the couch can't hurt her. She refers to herself in the 3rd person when she says she's afraid. Bette said that the 2 sides of the brain aren't communicating, and we need to plug on with the tonic neck pattern. I think that that is what stirred this up to begin with. This is going to be harder than I thought. We'll get through it one way or another.