November 23, 2009

At our last evaluation, we were given a set of movements to get rid of a primitive reflex. The good news is that they are brief and that S loves them. We are at such an amazing place developmentally, I am feeling really omtimistic that we will close the gap sooner than later. We are having more success eating, a little more variety, quite a bit more quantity. Behavior is improving, although we are going through a stage of throwing. She is still having a problem with sound, it seems to be magnified. She can hear a train whistle from miles away and is scared. She spends a good amount of time being randomly scared. Actually, it's a tiny portion of her day, but somedays, it feels like it's a good part of her day. I hope this passes with time and therapy. S is obsessed with having a certain door shut in the house. She goes from one obsession to another, but I don't think it's really a problem. The good thing is that every time we take her away from our house for a couple of days, she always makes great strides from being stretched beyond her comfort zone. This is where there is a parenting problem. As her mother, I feel it's my job to protect her from the world. It is extremely difficult for me to purposely take her out of her comfort zone just to face her fears. This is why I liked going to OT. I was there to protect her, and the OT was the bad guy who scared her with new things. How does an adoptive parent who is constantly building trust accomplish this? You don't have to be an adoptive parent to worry about this, but it is much harder for an adoptive parent. With your children born to you, they pretty much trust you from day one, you don't have to constantly reinforce it. I have worked so hard on trust, and after 2 years, she still doesn't trust me completely. She does run to me for comfort, it took nearly a year and a half to get there. Although I believe my child is the most joyful child I've ever encountered, I wonder how much more she could enjoy life without her obstacles to overcome. We are bonding stronger than most I feel, because conquering your fears together is almost like being in a war zone together. I love our life together, with all the good and the bad.