We had our re-evaluation a little over a week ago. I'm happy to report that things went much better then I had imagined. We've made huge neurological progress and we are moving on to the next step. We've been assigned a new set of patterns, and they are very do-able. I must admit, they look a bit strange, but we are going to do them. We know what we have been doing has caused big changes, so we're going to do everything we've been told. I don't know if I've mentioned this, but S's emotional guard is coming down and I can see her falling in love. If I look at her and smile, a change overcomes her entire face and she smiles back at me. She is giving hugs to everyone. I got my first real kiss last week. I ask her for a kiss before she goes to bed and never get one. Sometime she'll press her cheek to mine, and that's good enough for me. I get huge hugs, and I know she is dealing with oral sensitivity, so it's always been okay not to get kisses. It's a different world for her, and I'm happy to be a part of it and understand how she feels without trying to force her into anything. Well, this night was different. She pressed her little lips to my cheek and gave a long kiss. I was totally in shock, not even knowing how to react, and then she moved to the other cheek and did the same thing! I squeezed her and gave her another kiss and put her in bed. She has since given a few more, it has been wonderful. Her baby cousin who is 6 months old was over the other day. She kept walking over to her and touching her on the head. Then she touched her arms, legs, head and was labeling all of her body parts, it was so cute. The baby coughed, and she kept asking her, "Are you okay?" I finally realized that she was expecting the baby to answer, because she kept asking if she was okay. So I answered for her and she stopped. This was the first time she really took an interest in a baby for more than a second. This time last year, I remember being so excited at how far she'd come. I had no idea that she would get to this point one year later. When you have your children by birth, you always marvel over each new thing that they do. With S, each new thing that she does is cause for celebration because we see her unfolding. All of this is in her, she just lets it out very carefully and slowly. We are always in anticipation of what will come next, and it's not always in the order you expect.
We hope to be traveling in the next couple of weeks, so I'll try to keep up as best as I can. We are on an exciting adventure, and I would love to share it so others like us can experience the same joys that we have achieved through NR.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
May 14, 2009
I've just got a short update because it's nearing the end of school and things are crazy around here. We have our re-evaluation in 2 days. I'm a little worried because we have lapsed with our program. S doesn't really respond to bribes or incentives, so it's been difficult to get her motivated. The good news is that doors are still being opened and connections are being made. S uses mommy and daddy all of the time now. She also uses the names of her sisters. Yesterday at OT, daddy was holding her while I went to another room. She asked, "Where's mommy?" Today, after her sisters went to school and her daddy went to work, she asked where one of her sisters were by name. I explained that she went to school and then she asked, "Where is everyone?" Her sentence structure is continuing to improve. She pedaled a bicycle last week, which the OT said was a 3 year old skill. She is doing a lot of singing, she doesn't know many of the words, but instantly recognizes the tune. Yesterday, I got some big hugs. On Mother's Day, when I put her to bed, she gave me the equivalent of a kiss. She made the sound out loud, Mwaaaa! That's the sound she says when she blows a kiss. She's letting go a little bit at a time. I'm actually really happy that she is progressing this way, I feel it's genuine and what she is comfortable with. I'd rather it come slowly than for her to go through the motions but feel absolutely nothing. One of the goals we have for her is to feel empathy. She doesn't really realize when she hurts someone and doesn't give much reaction to others being hurt. Today, she was eating Cheerios and I asked her to give me one. She answered no, which was okay, but I wondered why she said no. She usually has no problem sharing, either with me or another child. I asked her again, and she didn't say no, but she didn't give me one either. So I told her I was sad and was going to cry because she wouldn't give me one. She studied my reaction for several seconds and much to my surprise, she ran over and fed me one! After that, she kept feeding me Cheerios.
I honestly don't know what goals to set for her for our re-evaluation. There were so many thing that were completely absent that I wanted to see and she has exceeded all of my goals. We need to expand on the one's we've gained, but I just don't have the same type goals to set. I'll post after our evaluation. I've been told that this blog has been shared with people who are considering NR. I'm so happy you are reading along and I hope this is encouraging to you. I started out a sceptic and turned into a believer. When the opportunity came up to be evaluated, I needed to make a quick decision or lose out. I read as much as I could before we went, but didn't have enough info going into it. That's the main reason I was a sceptic. The remarkable thing I've found is that I can't find anyone who said it didn't work for them. The hardest part is sticking to it and finding new ways to stay motivated. From what I've read on the neuro group, my daughter is one of the youngest doing it, and I think that is the best time to do it. Right now, even with our lapses, she's young enough that this could just be a part of her life. Even if it takes twice the amount of time, it is incorporated into her life so that it will feel very natural and a part of her everyday life. If you are following along, please leave me a comment. You can keep the comments private if you don't want everyone to read it. It always helps to know others are counting on you, it will keep us motivated.
I honestly don't know what goals to set for her for our re-evaluation. There were so many thing that were completely absent that I wanted to see and she has exceeded all of my goals. We need to expand on the one's we've gained, but I just don't have the same type goals to set. I'll post after our evaluation. I've been told that this blog has been shared with people who are considering NR. I'm so happy you are reading along and I hope this is encouraging to you. I started out a sceptic and turned into a believer. When the opportunity came up to be evaluated, I needed to make a quick decision or lose out. I read as much as I could before we went, but didn't have enough info going into it. That's the main reason I was a sceptic. The remarkable thing I've found is that I can't find anyone who said it didn't work for them. The hardest part is sticking to it and finding new ways to stay motivated. From what I've read on the neuro group, my daughter is one of the youngest doing it, and I think that is the best time to do it. Right now, even with our lapses, she's young enough that this could just be a part of her life. Even if it takes twice the amount of time, it is incorporated into her life so that it will feel very natural and a part of her everyday life. If you are following along, please leave me a comment. You can keep the comments private if you don't want everyone to read it. It always helps to know others are counting on you, it will keep us motivated.
Friday, May 1, 2009
May 1, 2009
We're getting a huge expansion in vocabulary and words used everyday. The word combinations are increasing also. Yesterday, S was climbing on her swingset/play set, and she climbed to the top of one part of it. As she was getting to the top, I heard her say something I didn't understand. She repeated it several times and I figured out she was saying, "Big girl". She knows when she accomplishes something she hasn't before, we say she's a big girl. When one of her sisters is out of sight, she asks, "Where is she?" I thought this was sort of a learned repetition, but when 2 sisters left, she asked, "Where are they?" She continues to surprise me with things she has learned a long time ago but takes a while to express it to me. I had a Disney shirt with many of the Disney characters and scenes on it and she pointed to the teacup and said, "Spin" It's been a while since we've been to Disney, and she's only been on that ride once or twice. I didn't even think she enjoyed it, but she obviously remembered it. It's just so darned exciting to see her unfold. Everyday is a new surprise. She is saying, "Mommy" with a whole lot more enthusiasm, and even says it very endearingly. I got a big hug the other day where she gave me a huge squeeze. I've gotten hugs before, usually with a running start and slamming into me, but this was from a standing position and then a big squeeze. At school the other day, I told her I was leaving the room for a minute and that I'd be right back. I've done this before and she lets me leave without even watching me go. This day was different. She turned away from what she was doing and looked up at me and watched me leave. Her teacher told her I'd be right back and she still looked toward the door. The teacher turned her head away and distracted her. This was a big moment for her and I. She showed me that she cared that I left. Ever since she first came home, she would always be looking at me when I wasn't looking at her. She very secretly keeps her eye on me without me knowing. When she's at school, she glances over to make sure I'm there. She has no problem clinging to me when she is scared, so it's not like she's to proud to cling to me. All of the classrooms have one way glass so you can spy on the kids from the outside. I waited to go in to see what she was doing. They put some music on and she was dancing around the room. It was so nice to see her having so much fun. She has just started to move to music since we started the program. She really let loose this day, and she was actually dancing. At school, she did another really mature thing. She had 2 bowls she was playing with. A little girl started carrying one of them away. S took the pther bowl and started following her, spouting off a string of words I didn't understand. It looked and sounded like she was pleading with the girl to give it back. When the girl took off faster with it, she just said, "Okay, bye bye." I can tell you from being in that classroom with her everyday, if it were one of the other kids, they would have just grabbed it back from them.
She is catching up at a rapid pace and I'm so excited for her. Our last hurdle is getting her to eat, that will come. I'm just so happy with her progress, and it's so nice that I don't feel the need to get her to do anything before she's ready. Most of what she needs to know is in there already, she just isn't ready to let it out. The teacher that comes to the house once every other week thinks she can't do a lot of things because she can't get S to do them for her. She matches colors at school every time, yet she won't do it for anyone else. Now I know why some people try to mainstream their kids in regular schools. The special needs schools and providers seem to concentrate on what the kids can't do as opposed to what they can do. I thought we'd gotten further than that by now. I do have to say, our OT is S's cheerleader, always being positive and never expecting her not to do something. He always likes to be pleasantly surprised whe she does something he's challenged her with. She may be cautious, but she's also curious. Today she was stringing beads and then she realized by holding the bead and pulling the string, she'd made a pulley. She kept pulling it up and letting it down to see how it worked. She loves to see how things work, she turns all of her toys over and around to see how they work. If she can find an alternate way to make a toy do the same thing, she'll do it that way for a challenge. She's always been that way. Only 2 weeks until her re-eval, can't wait to see how she's doing.
She is catching up at a rapid pace and I'm so excited for her. Our last hurdle is getting her to eat, that will come. I'm just so happy with her progress, and it's so nice that I don't feel the need to get her to do anything before she's ready. Most of what she needs to know is in there already, she just isn't ready to let it out. The teacher that comes to the house once every other week thinks she can't do a lot of things because she can't get S to do them for her. She matches colors at school every time, yet she won't do it for anyone else. Now I know why some people try to mainstream their kids in regular schools. The special needs schools and providers seem to concentrate on what the kids can't do as opposed to what they can do. I thought we'd gotten further than that by now. I do have to say, our OT is S's cheerleader, always being positive and never expecting her not to do something. He always likes to be pleasantly surprised whe she does something he's challenged her with. She may be cautious, but she's also curious. Today she was stringing beads and then she realized by holding the bead and pulling the string, she'd made a pulley. She kept pulling it up and letting it down to see how it worked. She loves to see how things work, she turns all of her toys over and around to see how they work. If she can find an alternate way to make a toy do the same thing, she'll do it that way for a challenge. She's always been that way. Only 2 weeks until her re-eval, can't wait to see how she's doing.
Monday, April 20, 2009
April 20, 2009
Where does the time go? Time is moving at warp speed lately, and I don't expect it will slow down anytime soon. We're looking forward to summer, things should slow down by then. S and mom endured another day at school today. I've realized that it is a rich and rewarding experience for her and that she doesn't see the faults like I do. If it only affects me, then I don't need to worry about it. Today S put a cup up to her mouth like she was going to drink multiple times. I think she thinks she was faking us out. She looked very skilled at her attempts to drink, if you were watching from a distance, you would have never known she wasn't drinking. She did something really great today at school. a little boy was trying to take away her play plate at the play kitchen area. She held tight and wouldn't let him take it from her. She thought quickly and grabbed another plate with her one hand and gave it to the boy. This made him let go and she got to keep her plate. Way to problem solve!!!! She is the oldest in the class, and it is the most evident in her play skills. The other children come up beside her and play with the same toy as she is playing with. She always lets them play whereas they will push her away or pull the toy away from her.
She is using many 3 or more word sentences now. She'll point to something and say,"See the _____?" She is really catching on to what letters are and mean. When she sees letters, she will say some of the letters that she knows. 'Z' is her favorite letter. She loves to sing the ABC song, even though she doesn't know most of the letters. Today she heard someone say a letter and she started saying a letter and it's sound. I am really amazed at the progress she's making. She seems to be improving in the area of attachment also. The only area we still need to work on is increased eye contact, which is coming along with her increased vocabulary. I make her look me in the eyes when she is asking me something. She used to be really scared when people were clapping their hands. We were at an event the other night and she wasn't scared at all. Another thing she is doing is saying scared or afraid when she wants to be picked up. She is 34 months old today. I'm hoping that she'll be caught up developmentally by the time she's 3. There will be some areas that she'll still fall behind in, but they are due to unresolved sensory issues. We are hoping NR will repair all of that. We go for our re-eval in about 3 weeks, so I'll be sure to report on her progress.
She is using many 3 or more word sentences now. She'll point to something and say,"See the _____?" She is really catching on to what letters are and mean. When she sees letters, she will say some of the letters that she knows. 'Z' is her favorite letter. She loves to sing the ABC song, even though she doesn't know most of the letters. Today she heard someone say a letter and she started saying a letter and it's sound. I am really amazed at the progress she's making. She seems to be improving in the area of attachment also. The only area we still need to work on is increased eye contact, which is coming along with her increased vocabulary. I make her look me in the eyes when she is asking me something. She used to be really scared when people were clapping their hands. We were at an event the other night and she wasn't scared at all. Another thing she is doing is saying scared or afraid when she wants to be picked up. She is 34 months old today. I'm hoping that she'll be caught up developmentally by the time she's 3. There will be some areas that she'll still fall behind in, but they are due to unresolved sensory issues. We are hoping NR will repair all of that. We go for our re-eval in about 3 weeks, so I'll be sure to report on her progress.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
April 11, 2009
There's so much that's gone on since I've last written. I write little notes so I don't forget, but I don't have the time to write down everything(wish I did).
She was holding this little drink umbrella that her sister had saved for her doll. I asked her, "Do you know what that is used for?" I wasn't expecting that she'd answer me, since she doesn't answer most of my questions anyway. She proceeded to lift that little umbrella right over her head! Now the remarkable part is that I don't remember when we've even used an umbrella or where she's seen it. This is an example of what I mean when I say that she shows us what she knows when we least expect it. She has been watching everything and taking it all in. I knew she was watching everything, but I didn't know she remembered everything.
The other day I left her with daddy for a short time. When I came home, she called out, "MOMMY!" I was so excited.
Probably the biggest developmental milestone is that she asked WHY? I was shocked that she asked me, not really sure she said 'why'. I answered her and she seemed satisfied with the answer. She has since asked why a couple of more times.
I have these little plastic star shaped reusable ice cubes that I have had in the bath tub with her. She dug them out the other day and when I mentioned star, she started singing twinkle twinkle. I sing her twinkle twinkle when she lets me hold her like a baby while feeding her a bottle. She hasn't wanted to be in this position for a while, but she did recently. I forgot to sing, so part way through her bottle, she said "up above" I caught on and starting singing. Since the ABC song is the same tune, she'll start singing, "Next time won't you sing with me" while I'm singing twinkle twinkle.
One of the other kids was asking me if I bought Peeps for Easter. I had showed S what marshmallow peeps were earlier at the store. I asked her if she remembered what peeps were and she didn't. She related the word to the closest familiar sounding word to her which was beep. She proceeded to tell us a story. She said car seat, drive drive, beep, had fun! That translates to: She got in her car seat to go to the park where she played with the steering wheel(she calls it a drive drive because that's what she does with it). She went beep beep on the steering wheel and she had fun! This was the first time she had told us a story.
She has communicated with us since we've been home by taking our hand and placing it on what she wants. It was a very effective method of communication, there was never any question what she wanted. If she wanted to go somewhere, she would have us pick her up. She would then lean in the direction she wanted us to go in. We felt like a horse! Anyway, the point of explaining this was to say that she tried to get her teacher to do something by grabbing her hand. The teacher didn't comply, so she immediately realized it wouldn't work and said the word instead.
At school, they are given a plastic egg and need to place it in the bowl with the same color. Since she has a 50/50 chance of getting it right(they only use 2 colors), I thought the first 2 times could have been lucky. Well, she did it a total of 5 times and got it right each time. Now if you set her down to do the activity at home, she won't cooperate at all. That's why it's so hard to know what she knows. I think in time, she will surpass her peers. Although I haven't been able to predict her timeline, I do think by the time she is done with NR therapy, she will be long caught up. The last day we went to school, her 11 year old sister was able to come with her. I knew this would be a good experience for both of them. She was much more bold and tried new things because she saw her sister doing it. In the beginning of class they sing a song. S did all of the hand motions with the song for the first time. She sang in a loud voice that we could all hear. The best part was when she sang the entire last sentence of the song, "I hope that you are too."
I've been reading on the neuro-network group about self regulation. That's an area we need to work on. She likes to have her way and do what she wants to do. She has a really hard time sitting in school. I'm having a hard time with this because I don't think that's an overly important area to be working on now when we have so much more important things to work on. I guess if this is the only thing I'm worried about, then I'm doing okay.
She was holding this little drink umbrella that her sister had saved for her doll. I asked her, "Do you know what that is used for?" I wasn't expecting that she'd answer me, since she doesn't answer most of my questions anyway. She proceeded to lift that little umbrella right over her head! Now the remarkable part is that I don't remember when we've even used an umbrella or where she's seen it. This is an example of what I mean when I say that she shows us what she knows when we least expect it. She has been watching everything and taking it all in. I knew she was watching everything, but I didn't know she remembered everything.
The other day I left her with daddy for a short time. When I came home, she called out, "MOMMY!" I was so excited.
Probably the biggest developmental milestone is that she asked WHY? I was shocked that she asked me, not really sure she said 'why'. I answered her and she seemed satisfied with the answer. She has since asked why a couple of more times.
I have these little plastic star shaped reusable ice cubes that I have had in the bath tub with her. She dug them out the other day and when I mentioned star, she started singing twinkle twinkle. I sing her twinkle twinkle when she lets me hold her like a baby while feeding her a bottle. She hasn't wanted to be in this position for a while, but she did recently. I forgot to sing, so part way through her bottle, she said "up above" I caught on and starting singing. Since the ABC song is the same tune, she'll start singing, "Next time won't you sing with me" while I'm singing twinkle twinkle.
One of the other kids was asking me if I bought Peeps for Easter. I had showed S what marshmallow peeps were earlier at the store. I asked her if she remembered what peeps were and she didn't. She related the word to the closest familiar sounding word to her which was beep. She proceeded to tell us a story. She said car seat, drive drive, beep, had fun! That translates to: She got in her car seat to go to the park where she played with the steering wheel(she calls it a drive drive because that's what she does with it). She went beep beep on the steering wheel and she had fun! This was the first time she had told us a story.
She has communicated with us since we've been home by taking our hand and placing it on what she wants. It was a very effective method of communication, there was never any question what she wanted. If she wanted to go somewhere, she would have us pick her up. She would then lean in the direction she wanted us to go in. We felt like a horse! Anyway, the point of explaining this was to say that she tried to get her teacher to do something by grabbing her hand. The teacher didn't comply, so she immediately realized it wouldn't work and said the word instead.
At school, they are given a plastic egg and need to place it in the bowl with the same color. Since she has a 50/50 chance of getting it right(they only use 2 colors), I thought the first 2 times could have been lucky. Well, she did it a total of 5 times and got it right each time. Now if you set her down to do the activity at home, she won't cooperate at all. That's why it's so hard to know what she knows. I think in time, she will surpass her peers. Although I haven't been able to predict her timeline, I do think by the time she is done with NR therapy, she will be long caught up. The last day we went to school, her 11 year old sister was able to come with her. I knew this would be a good experience for both of them. She was much more bold and tried new things because she saw her sister doing it. In the beginning of class they sing a song. S did all of the hand motions with the song for the first time. She sang in a loud voice that we could all hear. The best part was when she sang the entire last sentence of the song, "I hope that you are too."
I've been reading on the neuro-network group about self regulation. That's an area we need to work on. She likes to have her way and do what she wants to do. She has a really hard time sitting in school. I'm having a hard time with this because I don't think that's an overly important area to be working on now when we have so much more important things to work on. I guess if this is the only thing I'm worried about, then I'm doing okay.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Progress to report
So much has happened in just a couple of days. S is using all of our names, even Mommy!!!!! Today she spontaneously called out Grandma when she spotted her. When we came in the door today from being out, she said hi to the dog using her name. I had to go to WalMart yesterday and she would only sit in the cart for a few minutes. When she got out, I told her she had to hold my hand. She will NEVER hold my hand. She protested, but I told her she had to hold my hand or get back in the cart. She held my hand the entire time. I can't tell you how happy it made me to be able to walk through a store holding her adorable little hand. Today at OT, she actually played with the moon sand. Until now, she never touched it, she hated the feel of it. Yesterday at school, she actually put one of the dollhouse people in a bed. She has never played with the people before. She ate an Oreo for the first time yesterday at school. They mixed crushed oreos and vanilla pudding. I kept them separate because I knew she would never try them together. She doesn't eat anything soft. She was really hungry, so she just grabbed a piece of oreo and put it in her mouth. I dipped a little in the pudding, and she still ate it. She wouldn't eat it when there was too much pudidng on it, but just the fact that she ate it at all was pretty huge. We are really gaining a lot of momentum, I want to keep it going. She is saying more words than I can count. There are a few sounds she can't make, but for the most part, her words are really clear. Today, she also pointed to some pictures on the wall at OT. The student intern was saying the word to what she was pointing to and then S pointed to another picture on the wall and said, "Cookie" at the picture of the cookie. I'm not sure if it's her confidence that is making her respond, or something has just matured, allowing her to express herself the way we want her to. The kids in her school class don't do much talking, so she isn't doing it because she sees and hears them. I would love to have her with older children, but unfortunately, they don't allow mommies with the older children. I wish there was a facility that allowed that. Yesterday she got hurt by another child and she was just sitting there protecting herself from further harm. She only cries when it really hurts. I saw that she was waiting to be rescued, and I was glad I was there. That's part of the reason why I will only let her go where I can be with her. Unfortunately, there are so few people familiar with the dynamics of attachment, they don't understand the need for me to be there. That's all for today.
Monday, March 30, 2009
March 30, 2008
I left off telling you we got a "No" response which was great. Now we've gotten 2 affirmative answers. She sometimes answers, "Okay", but now we get, "Fine!" Today I was holding her and another little boy at the same time. He wanted to see the horse so I lifted them both up to look at the horse in the field next to the school. He was pointing to the horse and I asked S to point to the horse. She pointed and said, "Point" I asked her to point to something else today and she did it! That's been something we've wanted her to do for a while now. She did point to something in a book a little while back, but not when I asked her. It's really hard to access where she is developmentally because she is really stubborn and doesn't want to do things when we ask her. If you ask her to go pick up the hat, she'll go do it, but if you ask her to point to a hat, she won't. So we know she knows so much more than she lets on. I think it's part of maintaining the last bit of control. It's heartbreaking to know she hasn't completely let her guard down after a year and a half. While we were outside swinging today, I remembered a time when she was afraid to even get in the swing. If you didn't know where she started, you might worry about where she is today. But since we've been through it all with her, she has overcome so many obstacles. I think she has learned much more than other kids her age who have not been adopted. Along with all of her developmental milestones, she first needed to learn who we were, her new surroundings, her new language, and the biggest thing she needed to learn was trust. That most basic need has to be met before you can go anywhere. When you think of how old she was and how long it took to be comfortable with her new life, I think it's remarkable where she is. I know other children are much farther along, but she doing great for her personality and her obstacles. She just came up to me while I was writing this and said, "Excuse me" while she moved my legs to get past me. More later....
Saturday, March 21, 2009
March 22, 2008
S was sitting in my lap while I was eating some applesauce. I asked her if she wanted some while I brought the spoon to her mouth and she answered, "NO!" This was the first time she answered a yes or no question. Normally, she would just push the spoon away. I still can't get her to answer anything else, but this is a huge breakthrough. The OT has noticed that she tries new things when she lets her guard down. He tries to distract her by doing something she loves and then introduces something new. I think we have known all along that there so much more she knows and can do, but is so hypervigilant that she just is afraid to show it. I really think she is enjoying talking to people now.
The other day, she was using 2 pencils to pound on her toybox like a drum. I asked her if she was playing her drum and she took my hand and led me over to the piano in the other room. She was able to relate playing the drum and playing the piano. She has always loved music, and she loves to play the guitar.
That's all that's new this week. I'm trying to get a word count of the words she uses consistently. She's supposed to have a 300 word vocabulary by this time and be speaking in 3-4 word sentences. We've gotten a few 3 word sentences like up, sit, lap and shoes, socks, on. I am not hung up on timelines, she'll catch up eventually. Right now, I'm enjoying every minute with her just the way she is.
The other day, she was using 2 pencils to pound on her toybox like a drum. I asked her if she was playing her drum and she took my hand and led me over to the piano in the other room. She was able to relate playing the drum and playing the piano. She has always loved music, and she loves to play the guitar.
That's all that's new this week. I'm trying to get a word count of the words she uses consistently. She's supposed to have a 300 word vocabulary by this time and be speaking in 3-4 word sentences. We've gotten a few 3 word sentences like up, sit, lap and shoes, socks, on. I am not hung up on timelines, she'll catch up eventually. Right now, I'm enjoying every minute with her just the way she is.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Monday, March 16th
We've had a good week overall, a bad week getting all of our therapy in. This is starting to be a pattern. We are still seeing progress though, I guess that's the important thing. Although S had done pretend things before, it has been with toys. Yesterday, we did something together that was completley imaginary. She put her cupped hand up to her mouth and was pretneding to eat something. I decided to follow her lead and imitated her. Then I pretended to feed her something imaginary with my hand to her mouth. She has extreme oral defensiveness, so she grabbed my hand to see what I was putting near her lips. She instantly realized that I had nothing in it, and then let me do it. We did this back and forth and she even fed me some imaginary food. I thought this was a big step in her development. Everytime she does something new, I rest a little easier knowing it's one less thing we need to wonder about. We were watching the space shuttle take off yesterday and when she saw it on TV where it was just a bright light, she started singing Twinkle Twinkle because it looked like a star. I know I have only pointed out the stars once to her. Her sister did a couple of times, but it was a long time ago. What a thrill to know how much she has stored up. I was just watching her play yesterday and I was marveling over how happy she is. She goes through life so joyfully, enjoying every minute. She lives life rather dramatically, I don't know if this is partly environmental influence or just who she is. We are a very lively household, we find that the kid's friends who are only children are quite overwhelmed when they come to our house. They keep coming back, so I guess it's kind of a fun chaos. S can get serious when she's studying how a toy is made or how something works, but other than those times, she's always smiling and talking with tons of expression in her voice. Since she's started singing, we find her singing all of the time. She still won't answer yes or no to a question, we need to work on that.Hopefully I'll be able to report that we're better about our therapy this week. She is going to miss school this week because I'm home with her sister who is sick.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
Mommy had a bad day, while S had a pretty good day. It was our second day of 'school'. S separated from me many times to go play, even going to the outside area alone. She loves free play and playground time the most. I looked for smiles from the other kids today and there were lots of smiles, but S is by far the most excited about things. Today, she was handed out her painting from yesterday and she said, "Paper." It's not a word she hears very often, and the teacher did not say the word when she was handing the paintings out. It is such a thrill to be getting a glimpse of what she has stored up in that brain of hers. Now for my day at school...
I need to learn from my daughter to let things go like she does. She was scratched, shoved, slimed with snot, and poked in the eye today. Her eye hurt, and she took notice, but got over it quickly. She didn't even know she'd been slimed with snot or spit until she touched it with her hand. School is not a good place for a germophobe of a mother. I want to be decontaminated when I leave. Poor S isn't raised in a sterile environment like her older siblings, but it's still pretty sterile compared to most kids. Today I was shown a method of compensation for S because she doesn't do certain things the way a 'typical' kid would. That gesture of help was like stabbing me in the heart. I hate the whole politically correct world, it's just simply idiotic. I am much more offended with the word typical than normal. It says the same thing, it's just a different word. My daughter has no diagnosis of a disease or disability, how do they know what she needs? Was she placed in the closest category and we go from there? Aren't all kids different even if they have the same label? Our system is so broken, no wonder there are so many people homeschooling. I see that in our future. I hate how they rush kids to make a decision. They rush them to do everything. S's sister is in the gifted program at her elementary school. They give you a checklist for certain characteristics when you are looking into having your child tested for giftedness. Some of those are: thinking outside the box, stubborn, tenacious, etc. So I get a semester report for her that says she isn't working well in groups and doesn't complete some tasks. I read that and say, "Way to be an independent thinker!" Then I see that they've written that as a negative. If you have the best idea and you know you are right, do you go along with the group? How do you finish when your group isn't going along with your plan? The school boasts how the high IQ kids are leaders. Okay, my kid stepped up to the plate to be the leader and is told that was wrong. Well, which is it? Okay, back to my horrible morning. I've got this parent who made a comment that I have no idea how to take it. It seemed friendly enough, but also seemed like a dig. I don't want to be specific in case they end up reading this someday. As I hear the moms talk, I'm thinking to myself how they need to be told about NR. Maybe I can get Bette to come here to give a presentation. I think 100% of the kids would benefit from NR. Anyway, I have to keep this generic in case I get Bette to come and I'd like to be able to pass this website along to encourage people. My last vent is the comments about adoption and the misconceptions about China. I didn't know the details about adoption and China until before I adopted, but I don't think I said really insensitive things to adoptive parents either. I had read on different yahoo groups how parents deflected ignorant comments when they were said in front of thier child. Maybe they think S is too young, but from what I've heard from her, she's taking it all in and processing it. So when someone talks about China hating baby girls or killing baby girls, they aren't thinking about how it sounds. I didn't know how hurtful it could be until I had this precious little girl to protect. I'm not criticising them for not knowing, I just wish I could handle it better than I do. I try to educate them in as polite a manner as I can, that's the best I can do. Now I know why I have avoided people. Just like my daughter, the more exposure to certain situations, the better she is able to handle them. I need to get out and practice my lines so that I'm well equipped with the right words. Her feelings about adoption and people in general will be influenced by how I handle it. My sweet daughter is expanding my capacity as a human being. She has already taught me that my heart could grow way beyond what I ever thought possible. I never knew that I could fall deeper in love every single day. God has big plans for this little girl, I can't wait to see whose life she touches tomorrow. People are naturally drawn to her, and I have to make the best of that.
I need to learn from my daughter to let things go like she does. She was scratched, shoved, slimed with snot, and poked in the eye today. Her eye hurt, and she took notice, but got over it quickly. She didn't even know she'd been slimed with snot or spit until she touched it with her hand. School is not a good place for a germophobe of a mother. I want to be decontaminated when I leave. Poor S isn't raised in a sterile environment like her older siblings, but it's still pretty sterile compared to most kids. Today I was shown a method of compensation for S because she doesn't do certain things the way a 'typical' kid would. That gesture of help was like stabbing me in the heart. I hate the whole politically correct world, it's just simply idiotic. I am much more offended with the word typical than normal. It says the same thing, it's just a different word. My daughter has no diagnosis of a disease or disability, how do they know what she needs? Was she placed in the closest category and we go from there? Aren't all kids different even if they have the same label? Our system is so broken, no wonder there are so many people homeschooling. I see that in our future. I hate how they rush kids to make a decision. They rush them to do everything. S's sister is in the gifted program at her elementary school. They give you a checklist for certain characteristics when you are looking into having your child tested for giftedness. Some of those are: thinking outside the box, stubborn, tenacious, etc. So I get a semester report for her that says she isn't working well in groups and doesn't complete some tasks. I read that and say, "Way to be an independent thinker!" Then I see that they've written that as a negative. If you have the best idea and you know you are right, do you go along with the group? How do you finish when your group isn't going along with your plan? The school boasts how the high IQ kids are leaders. Okay, my kid stepped up to the plate to be the leader and is told that was wrong. Well, which is it? Okay, back to my horrible morning. I've got this parent who made a comment that I have no idea how to take it. It seemed friendly enough, but also seemed like a dig. I don't want to be specific in case they end up reading this someday. As I hear the moms talk, I'm thinking to myself how they need to be told about NR. Maybe I can get Bette to come here to give a presentation. I think 100% of the kids would benefit from NR. Anyway, I have to keep this generic in case I get Bette to come and I'd like to be able to pass this website along to encourage people. My last vent is the comments about adoption and the misconceptions about China. I didn't know the details about adoption and China until before I adopted, but I don't think I said really insensitive things to adoptive parents either. I had read on different yahoo groups how parents deflected ignorant comments when they were said in front of thier child. Maybe they think S is too young, but from what I've heard from her, she's taking it all in and processing it. So when someone talks about China hating baby girls or killing baby girls, they aren't thinking about how it sounds. I didn't know how hurtful it could be until I had this precious little girl to protect. I'm not criticising them for not knowing, I just wish I could handle it better than I do. I try to educate them in as polite a manner as I can, that's the best I can do. Now I know why I have avoided people. Just like my daughter, the more exposure to certain situations, the better she is able to handle them. I need to get out and practice my lines so that I'm well equipped with the right words. Her feelings about adoption and people in general will be influenced by how I handle it. My sweet daughter is expanding my capacity as a human being. She has already taught me that my heart could grow way beyond what I ever thought possible. I never knew that I could fall deeper in love every single day. God has big plans for this little girl, I can't wait to see whose life she touches tomorrow. People are naturally drawn to her, and I have to make the best of that.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)