Last Update for a Month or Two

We will be leaving for vacation in a couple of weeks for a while, so I won't be updating. We will go for a re-eval in the fall, and I'm really excited to get a new routine. We've also made an appt. with a developmental optometrist to see if S needs vision therapy. Her eyes do not work together, and one or the other turns outward. The good news is that I've read that turning outward is better than inward.

Yesterday was the most amazing day. I was having a discussion with S's sister and she started to get upset. She was talking to me and half crying. S heard this from the other room, came over to her sister, and started to comfort her. It wasn't just a pat on the back and walk away thing either. She asked her what was wrong, then assured her it would be okay. After that, she went and got a game we all play together(bananagrams), took the letters out for her, and pretended to play with her. It was so amazing to see her 'get it' and go through so much to make her feel better. What she did was cute and also very effective to re-set the mood to a pleasant one. This was such a big step for her.

A couple of weeks ago, she tried a vacation bible school where one of her sisters was able to be with her the entire time. By day 3, she was overwhelmed, and didn't want to go. I went with her the next day since she came home early the day before. The noise level was too high for her, and the amazing thing is that she was able to tell me that. The 4 day was a 'performance' type thing, and she was clinging to me. My daughter suggested is would be good for her to just leave me to go with her and just face her fears. My husband came over and agreed with this suggestion. I refused, knowing full well that that was not a good idea. I stayed with her until she was comfortable, and she was fine, even with the noise. I am fully convinced that she understood this compassion, that's how she was able to show compassion towards her sister. Yes, she has to face her fears, it's the only way she'll do anything. I have gently coerce her to try new things. Sometimes she ends up clinging tighter, other times she ends up loving it. She is hesitant to try new things, she fears new situations. I know how hard to push her without betraying her trust. This is the key issue-trust.

Overall, she is doing great. We have a lot of work to be done, but we are at a good place. We have had no adverse reactions to fetals, the only thing we are doing now. Last time we started them, we had immediate sleep problems and an unpleasant disposition. I think there has been a lot of improvement with the increase in communication. We are about to go back to the orphanage where S came from. This is very early to go back, but I think it will be very good for her. We may have some horrible regression, and I hope we don't go too far backward. Even if we do, I think it will have positive results in the long run. I fear the worst, but I'm not expecting it. My feelings are that she is too young to comprehend the big picture, but it might be just enough to settle some feelings that she doesn't remember the origin of. I think since adoption was so traumatic for her, that she will be able to replace those bad, fearful feelings with the present circumstances. Meaning- what initially traumatized her can be re-lived and replaced with the comfort she has today with her new home. A psychologist might totally throw that idea out the window, but I feel that I know my daughter well enough to not be putting her at risk for something bad. We can communicate now, so if there is something that she wants to talk about concerning the orphanage, then she is young enough for memories to come back and discuss them. Maybe she will be able to put the past trauma behind her since she will be able to sort out the mystery of it all this early. I think she has some memory, even if it's not something she can express in words. I think going back might trigger some sort of conscious memory, but this time, she won't be leaving the orphanage to be with another family. I see it like getting back on the horse, it's hard to do, but you have to realize that it won't be that bad again. The old experience will be replaced by a good one. We'll see, I'll be sure to write about it when we get back. That's all for now, I need to get packing.