February re-evaluation

We had our February re-evaluation a couple of weeks ago. We're making progress, but our progress is only as good as our effort. S has gotten quite resistant to doing anything, so we're trying to employ another method. Our movements have changed this time around, we're going back to the fetals which stirred things up so much last time that we put them off. S is such a sound sleeper, and doing fetals disrupted that. But, I know we need to move on, so we'll try it once again. We plan to return to China in just a matter of months now, so we need to work through some of this early stuff to be able to have a successful trip. I honestly think that this is a really good time to return to the orphanage, because we are at a point where she is much farther along in the aqttachment process, and I think this trip could help her sort things out. I have not shown her pictures of her nanny or of the orphanage. I want to see if she is able to remember any of this on her own so I know it's from her memory and not from what she has pieced together from pictures and stories. I know from my older children how thier minds work. When you explain something to them, they can only relate to it and process it based on their limited exposure to the world. I can even see this in my teenagers. They tend to not believe that things aren't how they see it. It's not because they don't believe you, they just don't have the life experience to see the bigger picture. So that makes me very hesitant to give her too much information before we go back.

I'm happy to report that the little fearful sounding outburst she used to make has disappeared. I have to admit, I was really nervous about this. I think something new is coming up to replace this, but this time I'm not so worried because the last one was so short lived. We're having bigger problems with her bed. She's still " 'fraid bed". Nap time is pretty much gone, unless we're in the car and she falls asleep. At night, I'm able to rock her, and either put her in her bed awake or sleeping. She doesn't say anything about being afraid when I go get her in the morning. I am loving being able to rock her though, I never thought I would see that day that she let me and even enjoyed it. She is very talkative and tells me about what she did that day. She spent quite a bit of time with her 3 cousins these past 2 weeks, it was a huge leap in personal growth for her. Her eating is getting so much better. We're still using a bottle, but there are more solids. She even ate some of a banana, which is a huge step in sensory! A banana is about the worst texture to have in your mouth. She wants to use a cupo so badly, she pretends all of the time, but she just can't quite get the nerve to do it. Potty training is not happening. I did put her in underwear yesterday and she showed me where the puddle was on the floor. Progress? I had to get her up while she was still sleeping yesterday and I niticed that her diaper had only a small amount in it. This was the way I could tell my other kids were ready for potty training. So now that I know that she can hold it most of the night, I am going to attempt to train her.

Yesterday I overheard her talking to herslef and saying, "Good girl, you did it!" and then "Try again". She'll say that to me when I do something she wants me to do. She likes to try to have me do some of the things I have her do and then praise me for doing it. The other day I helped her put her shoes and socks on and she said to me, "Thanks for helping"

One of the cutest things she's done and a huge step for her was showing a huge amount of empathy. Her big sister was very upset due to frustration and she was crying. S went up to her and said, "Why are you crying?" Then she ran to the bathroom and got her a tissue and put it up to her nose and said, "Blow". Then she said, "Throw in the garbage" and ran to throw it away. She came back and said, "It's okay, lets go play (something, I forgot what)" "Come on" as she grabbed her hand and led her upstairs. I've seen her play with her dolls that way too, it's so wonderful to see that.

She is really doing great with gymnastics. She will try almost everything now. Yesterday, she crawled through a tunnel, something she would have never done several months ago. She's getting so much better at following directions. She needs to be potty trained for the older class, so I guess I need to work on potty training for several reasons. I understand the need for some activities to have potty trained children, but this excludes some children who have no other restrictions. Where do the children get to go who have incontinence due to spinal problems? I know there are children who have spina bifida or repaired spinal problems whose only side effect is incontinence. Are exceptions made for these children? I have found that there are really no options for a child who has different needs. Even in the school system, they accomodate because they are required to, but the needs of the child aren't really met. I know there are lots of parents out there who have this issue, I wish we could have a local network. Most people just end up homeschooling. There's nothing wrong with that, but there needs to be other options also.

I forgot to say, S's eye tracking showed an improvement, yay! One more thing I forgot. Yesterday S was playing with her Leappad ABC book. It asked her to touch all of the words beginning with a certain letter. Much to my surprise, she went from word to word, doing exactly what they asked! We have done very little letter recognition work, it's amazing what she knows on her own. My other kids could all read before they went to kindergarten, so I haven't pushed this so she isn't bored learning letters when she gets to school. I tried this same approach with my now 12 year old and she was the earliest reader yet! She read to her pre-school class, much to the surprise of her teacher. It's not that I don't teach S or expose her to everything, I just do it in a fun way instead of drilling her and formally 'teaching' her. We've had so much more to work on that was so much more pressing, that learning letters was last on the list. She is only 3, so it's not like she should have this all down anyway. I'm excited to know she is picking up on everything, she's just not letting on all that she knows. I have said this from the beginning, and still believe it, she is keeping a lot inside and just giving us a glimpse of what she knows. Maybe it all has to do with attachment, if she doesn't let on what she knows, she maintains some control. She doesn't exhibit a huge need for control, she just is fearful of new things. After attending Denise Best's semminar, I was happy to learn that our attachment is much better than I thought. I was expecting the info to be a 'light bulb' moment for me and have all of the answers spelled out for me and that was not the case. Good that we are better off than I though, but bad that I don't have all of the answers.

Lastly, please leave a comment if you follow this blog. My goal is to document our progress and be encouraging to others. If you would like to see other things discussed, please let me know what would be helpful. Every child is different, but NR is like a diet, it works if you stick with it. I am a true believer in this method, and my daughter is the proof that it works, even when I was a sceptic along the way.