Friday

S is having an imaginary conversation with someone while using a calculator for a phone. She says, "Heh-woe", then a bunch of words, then bye-bye. Sometimes she hands the phone to me to talk. Her vocabulary is expanding at a huge rate. She voluntarily did some of her tummy time today. The other day she coughed and asked herself, "Are you okay?" She also said, "Bless you" when I sneezed. The most amazing thing was when I got hurt she came over to me to see if I was okay. She even touched her hand to my back to comfort me. This was the first time she recognized anyone getting hurt. I was told that she needs to feel and understand her pain in order to feel empathy for anyone else. We always did make a big deal when she got hurt because in the beginning her pain tolerance was way too high. She has since come to me for comfort, which is a really big deal. She's repeating almost everything she hears with great clarity. She can repeat a whole sentence. She's using several words with related objects. For example, she hands me the phone and says, "Phone, talk, hello?"
Just a month ago, she would just say the word that described the object. She would say many related words to actions before, but not to objects. An example of that would be when I would tell her it's time for bed, she would say, "Nite-nite". Now she's been adding words to that like- bed. Today she added the word 'sleep' to the routine. At this rate, she should be caught up to her chronological age in a couple of months. She is on a waiting list for a speech therapist for her eating issues, but it doesn't look like we'll get in anytime soon. I'm optimistic that soon we won't need it for feeding or for speech. She has been hungry lately and eating more frequently. The amount she eats at a time is also increasing. Things are going great.

Wednesday, 2/25

We are back into our routine as much as humanly possible. S has been a little resistant to crawling, and we have to do it in several short sessions. I'm not sure if it's because we've been out of the routine or that she's getting tired of the routine. We're still seeing new things appear though. She's now calling the dog by her name. She is singing all on her own too. Her little voice is so sweet, I can imagine that's what an angel must sound like. I've never heard a sweeter sound in my life. She's also starting to use our names. Today, she led me to the microwave and asked for her bottle. This is a big step for her considering her eating history. We want her to know when she is hungry instead of being fed on a schedule. She asked for it quite a bit earlier than I would have given it to her. When we were at Disney, she didn't protest when I put her jacket on. She hates to wear a jacket and has been much more cooperative in wearing one. That's all of the new things I can think of for now, we've got to get to crawling after lunch.

I thought this picture was adorable.

Catching Up

I have been a terrible slacker about keeping up with this blog. We have had company all week and Friday we took the kids out of school so they could go to Disney World with thier cousins. S continued to check out all of the new sights, and tolerated the new surroundings very well. She LOVES being with her cousins, and they adore her like she is the most special person in the world. They only get to see her a few times a year, so these visits are extra special. All of this activity means little time for our NR therapy. We still do it, but haven't gotten in the full amount of time. Like I said before, the sensory work is on overtime with the other kids handling her non-stop. She encountered another little girl this morning at church and she was really well behaved. She invaded her personal space a little bit, but she acted very much in control. Her vocabulary continues to expand, it is so much fun to see and hear. She now sings Twinkle Twinkle all on her own without prompting. She will do This Little Piggy to other people too. When I sing Twinkle Twinkle to her, she'll fill in the last word of each verse. She finally got both feet off the ground when she jumps. This is a big accomplishment for her. She's been trying to get both feet off the ground for months now. Tomorrow is Monday, we'll be back into our routine. I am looking forward to it because I'm so excited about her progress. I feel like she's finally becoming who she wants to be. When we first came home from China, I'd always felt like she was trapped inside her body. Her chronological age was nowhere near her developmental age and that had to be frustrating. She was so creative with her communication skills, I knew her brain was working overtime, but her body wasn't in sync with it. I have since learned of another child who was adopted at a bit older age than her and was so traumatized by the adoption that it took more than a year for her to get to any level of comfort and start advancing. I think trauma had a lot to do with S's development, along with her prematurity. Although I'm in no hurry for her to get to any certain place, I do hope that her ability to express her feelings will come before her memory fades. I want to know how she felt at her OT appointments, I want to know how she felt about a lot of things. I don't expect her to have memories of her life without us, or even soon after, but I hope she remembers the recent past. I guess I know how she is feeling by her body language and comfort level. She is very comfortable with us and is one of the happiest kids I know. She has a great sense of humor and does really funny things. One of her sisters was having her repeat the letters of the alphabet for them. When they got to "Q", she repeated, "Cute". When they finished singing in church this morning, she clapped and said, "Yay, good girl!" She really keeps us entertained.

Tuesday's Report

Yesterday we went to the zoo. It was S's first trip to the zoo. You're probably wondering why her first trip to the zoo wasn't until she was already 2 &1/2 years old. Well, the reason is that I just didn't think she would be at all interested in it. She did look at the animals when I pointed them out, but wasn't excited about them in any way. She pet the emu in the petting zoo, but wasn't interested in petting any of the other animals. I put her hand on the sweet baby deer, but she didn't really like that. We went inside the aviary and she was really interested in the birds. She tried to pet them and grab them. Her sisters were feeding them,so she got to see them really close up. When we were feeding the giraffes, she was a little scared of the giant giraffe head right next to her, but she had a little smile on her face, so I know she liked them even though she was a little scared of it. Someone was calling their child and yelled out, "Mike". She repeated right after the mom, calling out, "Miiiike!" The boy looked back at her wondering why she was calling him too. It was hilarious.

She has done 2 new things in the past couple of days. I was singing the head, shoulders, knees, and toes song and she started going through the motions. We've never done this song together, so I was surprised that she started doing it. She has done the itsy bitsy spider to herself before, as well as this little piggy, but she won't really point to body parts even though she knows where they are. We haven't had anymore talking in the car, but yesterday her sister started singing Twinkle Twinkle and she started singing after her. She didn't know all of the words, but had the tune right. I've heard her try to sing before, but only a little bit and it was quite some time ago.

Today, we went for a trial session at the early intervention center. It looks like we're in, so I'm really excited. The most wonderful part of it was that I couldn't tell who were the special needs kids and who weren't. They are grouped according to developmental age and not chronological age. There is a limit to the age range, but it was good to see the kids at a close developmental age. I'm proud of my little girl each and everyday, but today I was especially proud. She played nicely with the other children and did a lot of talking. She tried to take some toys from other children, but in a very innocent way. She wanted what they had, pure and simple. If they hung on tight, or in most cases ripped it away, she was fine with that. One child from another class gave her a big shove when she went near him. She thought a couple of girls needed some encouragement to go down the slide, so she gently put both hands on their back and said, "Push". I tried to explain that they didn't need her help to go down the slide! She had a big smile on her face and was so happy to see them go down the slide. I'm happy that she will learn how to interact with other kids her age. I don't think she'll be bothered by the rough kids. They had a texture board and she was all over it when they showed it to her. She was a little slow to warm up to the finger paint, but played in it after all. She also wiggled her little body to the music that was on. The best part of the day was when they had some pumpkin pie and whipped cream on a plate. She took the spoon and put it right to her mouth. Once it touched her lips, she wiped it off, but putting it to her mouth without hesitating was huge! I can't wait to see what the rest of the day brings. We left first thing in the morning today and she was put in bed for her nap as soon as we walked in, so no therapy today yet. I did a little bit of rapid movement through space today in the shopping cart. She was getting bored so I gave her a wild ride down the isles with some sharp turns. We were running a little late this morning taking her sisters to school, so I think she got a little bit of a sensory experience in the car with some bold traffic maneuvers.

The Past Couple of Days

I've had company, so I knew it would be hard to keep up with the therapy and the journal. S has her cousins here, so her sensory simulation is pretty well taken care of by them. On Friday, when she was playing with her 8 year old cousin, she flopped down on her belly outside and attempted to crawl! She realized she couldn't do it on grass, so she got up, but it still amazes me how natural it is for her. I am so grateful to have found this therapy while she is so young. She did a lot of her tummy crawling yesterday before anyone came over. All of her sisters and cousins were sitting at the table for dinner yesterday and I wanted to put her there with the 6 of them. She hasn't sat in her high chair since last summer, she actually acts scared of it. I lifted her up and she tried not to sit in it, but I wanted to see if I could get her to stay in it. She reluctantly complied, and I scooted her up to the table and gave her her plate of familiar foods, plus a new food. She sat there and ate with them for nearly the entire time they were there. I was so proud of her for staying there AND for eating. She seems to be talking so much more. Today at church, her big sisters were whispering to eachother and I shushed them. S said, "Shhhhh, quiet". It was so cute.

I got a phone call the other day about the Early Intervention Center. They have a spot for her and we have to go in for an observation day. If the center and I agree that it's the right place for her, we have a spot! I think this will be great for her.

We've been back to the old position for feeding, but this morning I asked her if I could hold her like a baby and she got into the position. She has been more compliant in general to my requests. I am so excited for her, she must feel so victorious.

Good Stuff

One characteristic of S is that she is silent in the car. She's said a word or two to me when it's just her and I in the car, but it's rare. Yesterday, she just started talking. It was just babble and not to anyone specific, but it was shocking to hear her voice. I am always looking back at her to make sure she is okay because she is so silent all of the time. The other big thing that she did yesterday is that she hit the floor and tummy crawled all on her own. We have a mat that she crawls on, so if she did it on that, I wouldn't be so surprised. The shocker was that she did it on the tile in a totally different area. We moved to the mat and she did some more crawling. We place whatever object at the far end of the mat and tell her to crawl to it. When she gets to it, we slide it to the other end of the mat. She loves this little game, and sometimes we let her play with it for a minute and then slide it away to the other end. Tonight, when we made our way back to the mat after her spontaneous crawl, she found a little play plate that was the size of a quarter, and she slid it across the mat so she could crawl to it! I was so worried she was too young for this before I began, but now I think she is the perfect age for it. She can be entertained by the whole process and doesn't mind playing games with it. I think an older child who had a broader world, might get bored with it. Of course we are only a week and a half into it, it might be harder to keep her interested after a few more weeks. This morning, she was a little fussy. I took her in the chair and spun around with her for a few minutes. This seemed to calm her and she was okay after that. I've found that when she is getting into trouble and doesn't know what to do with herself, that's when she needs some sensory stimulation.

S's transformation reminds me of the movie Awakenings. If you've never seen it, it was amazing movie. Robin Williams played a doctor who experimented with different drugs and brought people out of a catatonic state to normalcy. When the effects of the drugs wore off, they returned to their previous state. Robert DeNiro was the patient. The ironic thing is that the movie was on when we were in China.

Today, I was talking on the phone and said something was stupid and she started saying, 'stupid'. I told her that wasn't a nice word and she shouldn't say it. I was saying, 'no' everytime she would say it and she shook her head in the affirmative and said, 'yes'. Now this doesn't sound like anything at all, but it is huge for her. When I said she was uncooperative, this concept illustrates how stubborn she is. She will not answer yes or no to anything. When we ask her something, we always ask her like we're expecting an answer, even though we never get one. She shook her head no when we first got her, but she must have found that the gesture of pushing whatever away was more effective. Her sister has been teaching her to shake her head and say yes or no, and she'll mimic her but never use it on her own. Today she didn't use it to answer a question, but she used it in response to me saying no.

What Does Tummy Crawling Look Like?

Here's what the tummy crawling looks like. We put a bribe at the end of the mat and tell her to crawl on her tummy to get it. If you'd have told me that she would cooperate with this a couple of weeks ago, I wouldn't have believed it. There isn't anything else I can tell her to do that she'll cooperate with every time. When I tell her to get down on her tummy, she hits the floor like she's in boot camp. My husband, who was sceptical of her need for this, is amazed at her level of cooperation. She seems to be willing to get closer emotionally to her sisters. She worships her 11 year old sister, and will do anything with her. She wanted her oldest sister to give her her bottle yesterday. I let her do it because this is the first time she requested her. She may have been doing this to reject me, which she did when she reached for her sister, but she was just having fun with her, so I think she just didn't want to leave her. Just in case she did it to be away from me, I will make sure I feed her if it happens again.

Day 8

We had no therapy at all today. We took S to get her picture taken and she was very scared, she didn't want to cooperate. Since we were gone the whole morning and had tons of things to do this afternoon, we didn't do any of our therapy. I will try to get a little bit in before we go to bed. We had a good night sleeping last night, no waking up. S has been a little moody since we started the program, she's very quick to throw a tantrum. She has also been needing to be held also, so it seems to balance out. I'm wondering what tomorrow will be like with no work today. I hope missing one day doesn't change anything.

When we toured the early intervention center, it was wonderful to see such a great place that works with special needs kids. They have a 50/50 mix of special needs kids and what they call, 'typically developing kids'. It was really hard for me to check the special needs box for S. I'm hoping her status will be temporary, and everything indicates it will. There are some kids in there whose status will never change. At least I have hope. Not that the other kids don't have hope, that sounds bad the way it was worded. We just don't know what S is capable of, she may end up at the same level as other kids or surpass them-or she may never get there. We just need to wait and see. At this age, we never really know how far they will go. I am full of hope for her, even if someone told me there was little promise of a bright future, I would still be okay with it. I will help her reach her full potential no matter how far that takes her.

Day 7

Last night, S woke up again. She was crying, and her eyes looked closed. It might have been a night terror, but she wasn't inconsolable for long. She let me rock her for a minute but turned to have her back to my chest. We rocked like that for a while and then she turned to face me. She stayed asleep when I put her in her bed. This is very unusual for her. She is such a good sleeper, this is disturbing.
She has been more emotional this past week. I don't like it, and I'm sure neither does she. We're not getting our full regimen in each day, but it's obvious it's enough to make changes. I guess if it's because of the therapy, then it's good to get it all out while she's still young, but if it's involving emotions and she can't talk about it, that has to be really hard for her. I hate to see her unhappy, she is always so pleasant and fun to be around.
She had a little play date today and she was so actively engaged with the kids. This is how she usually is, she love to be around other kids. I think she plays really well for her age. She interacts like a child much older.
She is a little more in need of comforting, which is good, I think. Maybe she is experiencing feelings she doesn't understand, but knows she needs to be held and comforted. This is good for her attachment, but it's difficult to see her not feeling herself.

Day 6

We had a great OT session this morning, S was really talkative. We didn't have anything new today, but she pointed again to things in the book like yesterday. We checked out an early intervention center today where we might do a mommy and me class. It's a great facility and we're hoping we get in the class. There's a waiting list, so we won't know if we're in for a few weeks. I think this will be a good opportunity to be around other kids in a controlled environment. I wish I had some more new things to report today, but I don't. We've actually had a little regression, she went back to her usual bottle feeding position for half of her feedings.

Day 5

Today was a big day for breakthroughs. We're still keeping the cradle position for all bottle feedings. This has been completely voluntary on her part. Her cooperation in tummy crawling has been amazing. She hasn't been overly cooperative up until this point, not by being defiant, just ignoring. No one who has examined her or been with her has had any explanation for her not moving her body to music. She loves music and can pick out a song with just a couple of notes. She GETS music, but has never even tapped a foot to the beat. Today, her whole body was moving to a musical toy. I couldn't believe my eyes. Another first was pointing to an object in a book. I first heard her talking near her books, she was looking at a book that has a little bear that you take out and put it's PJ's on and brush it's teeth and put it to bed. She was saying bear, nite-nite as she was looking through the book. This is the first time that she related to the book with words. She then looked at a book with me and pointed to someone with a hat and said, "Hat". Then she pointed to a car and said, "Car". I always knew she knew what everything was called, but she never would point to anything if I asked. This was an exciting day.

Day 4

Yesterday was a noteworthy day. S put a toy up to her mouth and almost touched it to her lips. She doensn't put toys or anything else in her mouth. Then came last night. She woke up and was crying. This is unusual because she always has been a great sleeper. We didn't get in the amount of therapy we should have yesterday, but we still got a lot in. Did this have anything to do with her waking up? I just don't know. What was eventful was when her big sister came into the room, she went to her arms from mine. I left for a minute so I could preare to be in her room until she fell back asleep. I returned and took her back. She was a little reluctant, but was okay. Then her dad came in the room to see why she had woken up. She immediately wanted to go to him. I could see she preferred anyone but me, so I asked for her back. She didn't go willingly, but settled down after a few minutes. I was able to sit down with her finally and rock her. This was pretty huge for her. She struggled with a bunch of different positions, but finally faced me. She fell asleep and I sat with her for a while to make sure she was really asleep. I placed her back in her bed and she slept through the night. I really think she was fighting back a little since we've been having so much eye contact and closeness over the past few days.

Today had lots of eye contact. I am being more demanding with it and she is complying. We did as much of our therapy as we could today. The tummy crawling is still the hardest, but we still get as much time in as we can. I don't know if this counts, but I drag her around on a blanket on her tummy all around the house. Her whole front is touching the floor, and she rests her head in her hands as she is pulled along on the floor. For our vestibular excercises, I sit on my office chair with her on my lap and we spin in all different positions. She never gets dizzy, but I do, even though we always spin in the opposite direction the same amount of times. I give her lots of sensory stimulation by touching her and giving gentle squeezes. She's tolerating all of it really well. The burden of it is really all on us because she is so young. So far so good. I don't know how much or even if she is being helped by all of this, but it's very encouraging so far.

Progress

Wow, I just have to write this now. Last night and this morning S got into the cradle position for her bottle. She has always been fed with her back to me. Her feeding has always been an issue, so we let her eat in whatever position was most comfortable for her. We did plenty of other things for bonding, and considering her size and eating habits, everyone agreed it was fine to feed her like this. It's only the past few months that she will allow to be held in the cradle position at all. Is this a big breakthrough because of therapy? It's too early to tell, but I'll take it for now. Any and all encouragement is welcome to keep us plugging along. Just another side note, when I pulll at her joints, she giggles. This must feel good to her, it's amazing how the body knows what's good for it even if we don't consciously know it.

Our second bottle was in baby position and we had almost 100% eye contact. I sang to her to keep her attention, and stopped everytime she looked away. Later in the morning, she dropped her toy and hurt herself and she let me comfort her for a long time.

My List

Here's my list of things my daughter does or doesn't do that I hope to help with our NR therapy:

Ignores when I call her name.
Doesn't call us by name-mama and dada
We need her to eat more solid food and allow to be spoon fed
Show more affection
Give other little kids too big hugs, doesn't respect personal space
Not aware of dangerous situations
Isn't sensitive to hot or cold
Doesn't move to music
Won't allow a toothbrush in her mouth
Fearful of vibrating toys or toys that are too loud
Sensitive to clothing textures
Wanders away without looking back
Won't try a cup or straw
Won't point to objects in book
Doesn't realize when she hurts someone
Need more eye contact

Day 2

Well today was day 2 of therapy. We were gone most of the morning, so we are trying to squeeze it all in today. It's already 5 pm and we aren't even halfway through. I suppose there will be days like this, and I need to plan ahead to adequately deal with the schedule changes. I look at this as the same priority as eating, she nees it to survive. We WILL get through it and do as much as we can. I still feel a little overwhelmed with the task ahead of me, but it is much better today than yesterday. I have a few good friends who were in China with me adopting at the same time who are my support network. None of us are going through the same thing, but we are all working on one thing or another with our kids. I'm really happy for the people who have the happily ever after stories, but I think there are a lot of people who aren't connected and don't have a clue what is going on with their children. My heart breaks for those families. I belong to way too many yahoo groups that are composed of adoptive families. It makes me think that all adoptions are faced with problems at one point or another. If a parent doesn't have access to the right information, they think their child's behavior is just a personality characteristic. After all, there's no shortage of parents who will tell you, "All kids are like that." Yes, all kids can have a stubborn streak, all 2 year olds throw tantrums, all kids try to be in control, and the list goes on. But why do kids from orphanages all have similar characteristics? Are they stuffing food in their mouths because they went hungry? It's a feasable explanation, but more likely a sensory problem. The hardest part is the labels-sensory integration disorder, attachment disorder, developmental delay, etc. No one wants to label thier child, but I don't look at it that way. My daughter had a rough beginning, it's not her fault, it's not my fault, and I don't need to worry about what label she's assigned at this particular point in her life. What I need to do is get her whatever help she needs and do whatever I can do to make her life the best it can be. That's what we do for any child of ours, we work with their talents and deficits and make them the best they can be. My daughter will be the best she can be.

Our first day of therapy

Today we spent time crawling on the floor, poking, rubbing, massaging, spinning, swinging, etc. We had tons of fun doing it, it was not a chore at all. Best of all, S loved every minute of it. I saw changes already, maybe it was because of our new attitude. S voluntarily got in the baby cradling position for one of her bottles today. She did a little bit of snuggling today all on her own. It's not something she hasn't done before, it just seemed initiated by her. Of course I'm looking for anything and everything. Time will tell if this was a coincidence or she's already making progress. I will try to list all of the things we are working on so I can have a better idea what progress we are making. I tend to forget a previous problem even existed once it's gone. For example, S used to hit herself on the cheek or head when she was frustrated. I re-directed her hand to go over her mouth so she could make the woo-woo sound with her hand. She responded well to this, and did that everytime she was frustrated. This behavior had stopped completely, and I was only reminded that she used to do it when she repeated it a month or so ago. Once we move on, I don't look back. That's why I will list everything so I don't forget where we started. I'm journaling with the hope we will be an inspiration for other families who might want to try this therapy. I don't expect to be unsuccessful, but if we are, then it is also valuable for people to assess if this is right for them. Every child is so different though, it will be hard to tell, but my daughter's symptoms are pretty textbook.

What is NR?

NR or neuro-reorganization simply stated-is a therapy to re-wire the brain. There are several good resources which explain what it is. www.developmentalmovement.org

A video clip of what the program is can be viewed here:

http://www.ptvn.org/page.aspx?id=305327 It's called- A Missing Piece of the Jigsaw

A yahoo group to join for more info and support is:NEUROnetwork@yahoogroups.com

Another good website:http://www.learningdiscoveries.org/NeurodevelopmentalTherapy.htm

Evaluation

We spent 3 hours in our evaluation, it was exhausting. The news was not unexpected, but the duration of therapy seemed a bit longer than I expected, an estimated 2 years. Wow, that was difficult to hear. After thinking I had found the magic 'cure', there was nothing magic about it. I am fully expecting the results to be magic, but the process will take an incredible amount of endurance to do it consistently. I have no doubt that seeing my little darling improve will motivate me beyond what I need. I am the only one fighting for her in an endless sea of people who don't know how to help her. If this doesn't do it, I will find something else that will. I have a little life who is counting on me to do what is best for her. I have one chance to get it right so that she can live her life to her full potential. Valueable time is passing, and I think that is the most stressful part. I don't have time to waste experimenting. This is my precious child, not a science project. I don't know if it's because she's adopted, but people tend to talk about her like she belongs to someone else. There seems to be a bit of compassion lacking when the professionals are talking about her to me. I feel a lot of resentment about that. I feel more strongly about her because she is adopted. Someone entrusted me to raise their child, so my job is more important. I'll never stop fighting for her.