Day 7

Last night, S woke up again. She was crying, and her eyes looked closed. It might have been a night terror, but she wasn't inconsolable for long. She let me rock her for a minute but turned to have her back to my chest. We rocked like that for a while and then she turned to face me. She stayed asleep when I put her in her bed. This is very unusual for her. She is such a good sleeper, this is disturbing.
She has been more emotional this past week. I don't like it, and I'm sure neither does she. We're not getting our full regimen in each day, but it's obvious it's enough to make changes. I guess if it's because of the therapy, then it's good to get it all out while she's still young, but if it's involving emotions and she can't talk about it, that has to be really hard for her. I hate to see her unhappy, she is always so pleasant and fun to be around.
She had a little play date today and she was so actively engaged with the kids. This is how she usually is, she love to be around other kids. I think she plays really well for her age. She interacts like a child much older.
She is a little more in need of comforting, which is good, I think. Maybe she is experiencing feelings she doesn't understand, but knows she needs to be held and comforted. This is good for her attachment, but it's difficult to see her not feeling herself.

Day 6

We had a great OT session this morning, S was really talkative. We didn't have anything new today, but she pointed again to things in the book like yesterday. We checked out an early intervention center today where we might do a mommy and me class. It's a great facility and we're hoping we get in the class. There's a waiting list, so we won't know if we're in for a few weeks. I think this will be a good opportunity to be around other kids in a controlled environment. I wish I had some more new things to report today, but I don't. We've actually had a little regression, she went back to her usual bottle feeding position for half of her feedings.

Day 5

Today was a big day for breakthroughs. We're still keeping the cradle position for all bottle feedings. This has been completely voluntary on her part. Her cooperation in tummy crawling has been amazing. She hasn't been overly cooperative up until this point, not by being defiant, just ignoring. No one who has examined her or been with her has had any explanation for her not moving her body to music. She loves music and can pick out a song with just a couple of notes. She GETS music, but has never even tapped a foot to the beat. Today, her whole body was moving to a musical toy. I couldn't believe my eyes. Another first was pointing to an object in a book. I first heard her talking near her books, she was looking at a book that has a little bear that you take out and put it's PJ's on and brush it's teeth and put it to bed. She was saying bear, nite-nite as she was looking through the book. This is the first time that she related to the book with words. She then looked at a book with me and pointed to someone with a hat and said, "Hat". Then she pointed to a car and said, "Car". I always knew she knew what everything was called, but she never would point to anything if I asked. This was an exciting day.

Day 4

Yesterday was a noteworthy day. S put a toy up to her mouth and almost touched it to her lips. She doensn't put toys or anything else in her mouth. Then came last night. She woke up and was crying. This is unusual because she always has been a great sleeper. We didn't get in the amount of therapy we should have yesterday, but we still got a lot in. Did this have anything to do with her waking up? I just don't know. What was eventful was when her big sister came into the room, she went to her arms from mine. I left for a minute so I could preare to be in her room until she fell back asleep. I returned and took her back. She was a little reluctant, but was okay. Then her dad came in the room to see why she had woken up. She immediately wanted to go to him. I could see she preferred anyone but me, so I asked for her back. She didn't go willingly, but settled down after a few minutes. I was able to sit down with her finally and rock her. This was pretty huge for her. She struggled with a bunch of different positions, but finally faced me. She fell asleep and I sat with her for a while to make sure she was really asleep. I placed her back in her bed and she slept through the night. I really think she was fighting back a little since we've been having so much eye contact and closeness over the past few days.

Today had lots of eye contact. I am being more demanding with it and she is complying. We did as much of our therapy as we could today. The tummy crawling is still the hardest, but we still get as much time in as we can. I don't know if this counts, but I drag her around on a blanket on her tummy all around the house. Her whole front is touching the floor, and she rests her head in her hands as she is pulled along on the floor. For our vestibular excercises, I sit on my office chair with her on my lap and we spin in all different positions. She never gets dizzy, but I do, even though we always spin in the opposite direction the same amount of times. I give her lots of sensory stimulation by touching her and giving gentle squeezes. She's tolerating all of it really well. The burden of it is really all on us because she is so young. So far so good. I don't know how much or even if she is being helped by all of this, but it's very encouraging so far.

Progress

Wow, I just have to write this now. Last night and this morning S got into the cradle position for her bottle. She has always been fed with her back to me. Her feeding has always been an issue, so we let her eat in whatever position was most comfortable for her. We did plenty of other things for bonding, and considering her size and eating habits, everyone agreed it was fine to feed her like this. It's only the past few months that she will allow to be held in the cradle position at all. Is this a big breakthrough because of therapy? It's too early to tell, but I'll take it for now. Any and all encouragement is welcome to keep us plugging along. Just another side note, when I pulll at her joints, she giggles. This must feel good to her, it's amazing how the body knows what's good for it even if we don't consciously know it.

Our second bottle was in baby position and we had almost 100% eye contact. I sang to her to keep her attention, and stopped everytime she looked away. Later in the morning, she dropped her toy and hurt herself and she let me comfort her for a long time.

My List

Here's my list of things my daughter does or doesn't do that I hope to help with our NR therapy:

Ignores when I call her name.
Doesn't call us by name-mama and dada
We need her to eat more solid food and allow to be spoon fed
Show more affection
Give other little kids too big hugs, doesn't respect personal space
Not aware of dangerous situations
Isn't sensitive to hot or cold
Doesn't move to music
Won't allow a toothbrush in her mouth
Fearful of vibrating toys or toys that are too loud
Sensitive to clothing textures
Wanders away without looking back
Won't try a cup or straw
Won't point to objects in book
Doesn't realize when she hurts someone
Need more eye contact

Day 2

Well today was day 2 of therapy. We were gone most of the morning, so we are trying to squeeze it all in today. It's already 5 pm and we aren't even halfway through. I suppose there will be days like this, and I need to plan ahead to adequately deal with the schedule changes. I look at this as the same priority as eating, she nees it to survive. We WILL get through it and do as much as we can. I still feel a little overwhelmed with the task ahead of me, but it is much better today than yesterday. I have a few good friends who were in China with me adopting at the same time who are my support network. None of us are going through the same thing, but we are all working on one thing or another with our kids. I'm really happy for the people who have the happily ever after stories, but I think there are a lot of people who aren't connected and don't have a clue what is going on with their children. My heart breaks for those families. I belong to way too many yahoo groups that are composed of adoptive families. It makes me think that all adoptions are faced with problems at one point or another. If a parent doesn't have access to the right information, they think their child's behavior is just a personality characteristic. After all, there's no shortage of parents who will tell you, "All kids are like that." Yes, all kids can have a stubborn streak, all 2 year olds throw tantrums, all kids try to be in control, and the list goes on. But why do kids from orphanages all have similar characteristics? Are they stuffing food in their mouths because they went hungry? It's a feasable explanation, but more likely a sensory problem. The hardest part is the labels-sensory integration disorder, attachment disorder, developmental delay, etc. No one wants to label thier child, but I don't look at it that way. My daughter had a rough beginning, it's not her fault, it's not my fault, and I don't need to worry about what label she's assigned at this particular point in her life. What I need to do is get her whatever help she needs and do whatever I can do to make her life the best it can be. That's what we do for any child of ours, we work with their talents and deficits and make them the best they can be. My daughter will be the best she can be.

Our first day of therapy

Today we spent time crawling on the floor, poking, rubbing, massaging, spinning, swinging, etc. We had tons of fun doing it, it was not a chore at all. Best of all, S loved every minute of it. I saw changes already, maybe it was because of our new attitude. S voluntarily got in the baby cradling position for one of her bottles today. She did a little bit of snuggling today all on her own. It's not something she hasn't done before, it just seemed initiated by her. Of course I'm looking for anything and everything. Time will tell if this was a coincidence or she's already making progress. I will try to list all of the things we are working on so I can have a better idea what progress we are making. I tend to forget a previous problem even existed once it's gone. For example, S used to hit herself on the cheek or head when she was frustrated. I re-directed her hand to go over her mouth so she could make the woo-woo sound with her hand. She responded well to this, and did that everytime she was frustrated. This behavior had stopped completely, and I was only reminded that she used to do it when she repeated it a month or so ago. Once we move on, I don't look back. That's why I will list everything so I don't forget where we started. I'm journaling with the hope we will be an inspiration for other families who might want to try this therapy. I don't expect to be unsuccessful, but if we are, then it is also valuable for people to assess if this is right for them. Every child is so different though, it will be hard to tell, but my daughter's symptoms are pretty textbook.

What is NR?

NR or neuro-reorganization simply stated-is a therapy to re-wire the brain. There are several good resources which explain what it is. www.developmentalmovement.org

A video clip of what the program is can be viewed here:

http://www.ptvn.org/page.aspx?id=305327 It's called- A Missing Piece of the Jigsaw

A yahoo group to join for more info and support is:NEUROnetwork@yahoogroups.com

Another good website:http://www.learningdiscoveries.org/NeurodevelopmentalTherapy.htm

Evaluation

We spent 3 hours in our evaluation, it was exhausting. The news was not unexpected, but the duration of therapy seemed a bit longer than I expected, an estimated 2 years. Wow, that was difficult to hear. After thinking I had found the magic 'cure', there was nothing magic about it. I am fully expecting the results to be magic, but the process will take an incredible amount of endurance to do it consistently. I have no doubt that seeing my little darling improve will motivate me beyond what I need. I am the only one fighting for her in an endless sea of people who don't know how to help her. If this doesn't do it, I will find something else that will. I have a little life who is counting on me to do what is best for her. I have one chance to get it right so that she can live her life to her full potential. Valueable time is passing, and I think that is the most stressful part. I don't have time to waste experimenting. This is my precious child, not a science project. I don't know if it's because she's adopted, but people tend to talk about her like she belongs to someone else. There seems to be a bit of compassion lacking when the professionals are talking about her to me. I feel a lot of resentment about that. I feel more strongly about her because she is adopted. Someone entrusted me to raise their child, so my job is more important. I'll never stop fighting for her.